This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UGA chapter.
The journey to self love and confidence is a long and difficult one. Up until college, I didn’t realize that I was hugely lacking in the areas of confidence and self love. Throughout this my college experience, I’ve embarked on the journey to improve in both of these areas because it was no longer okay for me to not only treat myself with a lack of confidence, which translated into a lack of respect, but it was also no longer okay for me to be treated by other people with a lack of respect.
The first step in increasing confidence in your relationships is to improve your relationship with yourself. As I grew into adulthood, I increasingly noticed that I wouldn’t try something or voice my opinions out of fear that I wouldn’t be accepted or that I would be wrong. College is a difficult and scary place, and sometimes I look around me and think that everyone else was so much smarter than me and that if I said anything that I would sound stupid in comparison. I realized over winter break that these thoughts were not okay. My life was always going to stay stagnant and never improve if I never chose to say anything or never had any confidence in any of my opinions.
1. Change the way you think
All those studies saying that your thoughts can change your outlook on life are really true. If you constantly tell yourself that your ideas are stupid or you aren’t good enough for that internship you want, those thing are going to come true under the concept of a self fulfilling prophecy. If you change the way you think and, instead of thinking you aren’t good enough, think that there are other opportunities out there, your view of the world starts to change and you begin to be happier.
2. Stop blaming yourself when things don’t work out
It’s hard to accept that there may be some genius out there who will always be better than you at something you may really want to do. The important thing to realize is that there’s nothing against you if you don’t get the job or the part you wanted. I know that the situation isn’t ideal, but it goes a long way in making you feel better if you instead think of a new skill that you may have gained out of the experience. For example, about a month ago I didn’t get the job I was interviewing for. The interview went terribly, so it was a little expected. However, I accepted the fact that the interview went terribly and I didn’t get the part I wanted but instead, I got an opportunity to practice my interviewing skills and think of ways that I could do better in my next interview and hopefully get the job.
Having an increased confidence in yourself can translate into an increased confidence in all of your relationships. If you change the way you interact with people and be mindful of your relationship to that person, things are less likely to go downhill.
3. Realize that the world keeps spinning even without that special someone in your life
We’ve all been there. We’ve all thought that our world would never continue without that special someone in our life. I’m here to break your bubble and tell you that your world continues just fine. I’ve been in the situation where I didn’t know what I would do without him and I was terrified of losing him so I fought for a relationship that wasn’t working. When I finally realized that he was just going to keep ignoring my texts and calls, I realized that I had honestly looked like an idiot and that it was time to let go. Turns out it was the best decision I ever made. Yes I still see him around campus, yes it’s awkward but I would still never go back. I know that I would still be unhappy if I was anywhere near him and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m so much better off without him in my life.
Confidence can come from no other place but yourself. You choose whether or not you want to stay friends with someone. You choose to be a strong woman who puts up with no nonsense. And most importantly, you choose to believe in yourself. So go out there and be the strong woman you are! You deserve so much more than crappy friends or boyfriends who make you feel bad all the time.