I really do love my freckles. In fact, I love a lot of things about myself. I love the feeling I get when I try on clothes in the dressing room and they end up looking great. I get satisfaction out of shaving my legs because afterward I literally compare myself to a flawless dolphin. I have my bad days like everyone else, but the bottom line is that I am okay with admitting that I love myself.
But why wasn’t it always like this? Why is that I grew up thinking that if I expressed love for my body, I was conceited and “just too much” for everyone else to handle? Why do we “admit” that we love ourselves, as though it’s something shameful, and that we need to quietly revel in the guilty pleasure it gives us?
People have started to expect girls to be “more humble” and deny that they are beautiful, or rather, deny that they find themselves beautiful. When someone compliments us, it’s common to respond with something along the lines of, “No really, I’m not that great.” But why?
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve started to have a problem with this. I’ve started to have a problem with the handful of guys and girls who are instantly turned off by confidence. We admire the girls who are not afraid to say they love themselves, but sometimes I feel like that’s part of the problem. Self-love should be a bold part of our personalities. It should be the norm. We shouldn’t be silently rooting for the girls who know they’re wonderful, fabulous mermaids because none of us should be silent.
When we try to convince others that we are unattractive, we end up convincing ourselves of the same thing; we start to rely on the opinions of others to validate us as human beings. Captions on Instagram that say things like “sorry for my face,” or “yuck” slowly ingrain that idea in our heads, and soon it’s not just us “trying to stay humble.”
Even books and movies nowadays have girls saying things like “I wasn’t very pretty,” or “I’m so and so and I’m actually pretty bland and boring,” and I’ve wondered why. I’ve also thought about how sad it is that things like this have become so common that we’re not even bothered by it. In fact, we barely notice it and often just let it pass by without saying a word.
We’ve become more comfortable thinking and saying things about our bodies that we could never hear from someone else. And somewhere along the way, we start to criticize other people around us, too. We make fun of the girl we saw at Starbucks whose roots are showing. We lightly judge the girls we see on campus dressed to the nines for their 8 a.m. class. “Who are they trying to impress? No one cares.”
The thing is that girls really do need to stick together. The Spice Girls said it all the time, and Disney Channel discusses it on a regular basis. I know too many girls who start to think their opinions matter less and that they need validation. But why would you need someone to tell you how you should feel about yourself? Why are we so afraid to love ourselves as we are? We should support each other. Maybe you don’t like the way she looks, but hey, she’s feeling herself today, isn’t she? Who are you to decide that she shouldn’t feel great?
It also needs to be said that if someone doesn’t want to love you, everything will be okay. Repeat it like a mantra. “If he or she doesn’t want to date me, then it’s okay! I’ll date me.”
If you feel beautiful, please stop concealing it. You are not conceited for loving the body that helps you run, eat and study for your finals without giving out on you. The first step of it all is to stop calling yourself ugly. Stop being so negative toward the girl who has been with you since day one. Secondly, no one else’s opinions define you but your own. The opinions of others only become important when you make them important, so just block out the haters and do you. It’s still hard for me sometimes, but one day, I looked in the mirror and decided that yes, I am pretty.
Collegiettes, it’s time to take a look and the mirror and love who you are.