As my last few days in Gainesville seemed to speed by, I thought of all the wonderful people who had made my time at UF so special. I wanted to go out, get a drink and reminisce with every single friend I had made, but I quickly realized that was impossible. I made a long-winded and sappy Facebook post, thinking that all my old friends would come out of the woodwork and spend time catching up before I headed out of the city, then out of the country.
Though I had drifted apart from so many people, I had gotten immeasurably closer to others. In scrambling to see every single person I was ever friendly with, I realized that those relationships weren’t burning bridges I needed to rescue, just an eclectic mix of bright and talented people heading in different directions. I’ve always been the people-pleasing type of person who wants to be on good terms with absolutely everyone, even if those relationships are quickly escaping my grasp. I finally came to terms with the notion that people drift apart naturally in life, most especially in this time of immense change and growth.
Just because friends drift apart does not mean those people are out of your life forever. I’ve maintained distant and casual relationships with a few high school friends, and I have valued our continued contact enormously. I know that the relationships I’ve made throughout my time at UF will be much the same. It’s impossible to expect to spend time with the friends we’ve made in college as we all move across the world to pursue our individual passions. I hope to remain as close as I am now with my roommates and closest friends, but I know distance will alter those relationships. All I have is the confidence in the experiences we’ve shared together and the relationships we’ve built to assure me of the continued contact I hope to have with my friends post-graduation.
Despite the wonderful friendships I’ve made at UF, I’ve also been in a few less-than-perfect friendships. I’ve been in friendships that felt too much like work—friendships built on insecurity and selfishness. I’ve tried to repair all that I could, but I’ve reached a breaking point. I’ve only done myself a disservice in attempting to repair what cannot be fixed. If these toxic friends do not care to maintain a relationship with me, I need to find the wisdom and confidence to let those people go.
In the search for love or acceptance, we often take whatever is offered to us without examining if the potential relationship is everything we deserve. We accept toxic friendships because we’d rather be insecure in our relationships than “friendless.” I’ve learned through trial and error not to entertain or nourish friendships that don’t provide me with happiness and comfort.
I’ve made so many wonderful life-long friends at the University of Florida—through classes and fantastic organizations such as Her Campus. As we all move on to the terrifying “real world,” all I can do is leave my phone number with those who matter and wish everyone nothing but the very best.