Hopefully, by now, most of us are well acquainted with the most common, colloquial phrases of the Internet age like “lol” and “jk.” However, the past few years have brought on a new variety of Internet slang that is rapidly creeping into our vernacular. Here’s what we’re really trying to say with these phrases:
Phrase: “I can’t even” What it means: I can’t even begin to fully articulate my current emotions because they are too overwhelming for me to think or speak in coherent sentences, so I instead choose to express myself with a nonsensical sentence.
Phrase: “THIS” What it means: I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment conveyed by this post/picture/link/video that you have shared, and I fully sympathize with its message.
Phrase: “#blessed” What it means: I am incredibly proud of this picture or achievement, but in order to appear less pretentious and/or create a façade of modesty, I show off my humility by including this phrase among the plethora of other tags in this post.
Phrase: “Literally dying” What it means: I am moderately amused/tired/stressed by the presented circumstances and have chosen to hyperbolize my emotions for dramatic effect. Don’t worry; there is no need for medical concern.
Phrase: “asdjfkl;” What it means: I am so frustrated or excited that I have lost basic motor functionality in my fingers and can’t type words on my keyboard. Instead I have to button-mash in order to communicate my emotion with a string of gibberish letters and punctuation.
Phrase: “Awk” What it means: This situation is slightly uncomfortable, so I have chosen to exacerbate its awkwardness by declaring it so, providing no solution or escape for the other people involved in this unfortunate circumstance.
Phrase: “Is that a thing?” What it means: Is this an accurate, valid, or socially acceptable occurrence?
Phrase: “YASSSSS” What it means: Yes, I very enthusiastically and unreservedly agree with your statement and strongly support your proposed idea. The number of S’s at the end of the word indicate my degree of concurrence.
Phrase: “NOPE” What it means: No, I strongly refuse to participate because I do not currently possess the mental fortitude or emotional stability to cope with the presented situation.
Obviously Internet jargon has evolved into a vocabulary of its own. Pass these translations on to members of previous generations who may have a hard time keeping up with the rapidly changing words, phrases, and additions to our vocabulary.