Disclaimer: I am not from the Jersey Shore, I am not a child beauty-pageant competitor, and I am not a paid sponsor for any local tanning salon. I am, however, a recent addict and advocator of spray tans.
I know how that sounds — trust me, I do. I used to make fun of them too, but then I got one… and I’ve been hooked ever since. So if you’re skeptical of spray tans like I used to be or have just never gotten one for whatever reason, here are five reasons why you should drop everything and go get one right now.
1. You won’t look like an Oompa Loompa
The main fear I originally had with spray tans was that I would look like an Oompa Loompa straight out of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory if I ever got one. Despite what I once believed, I gave into my friends’ persuasion since they were all getting one before my sorority’s semi-formal (peer pressure, am I right?).
I walked out of the spray-tan salon looking like I was a golden goddess leaving a month long vacation in the Bahamas and not like I was a live Jack-O-Lantern Orange Crayola walking out of the crayon box. You might be scared to look in the mirror immediately after you get your first one, but once you do, you’ll never have any desire to look at your pre-spray-tan ghostly self ever again.
2. The tanning booths are nothing like that Friends episode
You know that episode of Friends where Ross tries to get a machine spray tan, accidentally gets his front side sprayed four times and then looks completely ridiculous? Well, as much as I love that the episode exists for my own amusement, nothing like that has ever happened to me or any of my spray-tan-loving friends in real life.
Not only will the workers at the salon give you step-by-step instructions, but there is also a diagram of the positions you will hold in the booth, and it gives you clear instructions (and plenty of time) to get in the positions.
If you still don’t trust the robots, there are salons that do airbrush tanning by a real person. I thought it’d be weird to strip completely naked in front of a stranger while they spray tan every crevice of my body, but it felt surprisingly normal. The workers at these salons are professionals who do this every day and know exactly how to make you feel comfortable – and that’s insurance against a Ross 2.0 disaster.
3. It’s a new activity to do with your friends
Maybe there’s just nothing to do in Gainesville, but my friends and I have started “treat yo self” days, which includes getting spray tans, of course. When you and all of your friends are suddenly substantially tanner as a collective group, it seems less suspicious than when you are the sole tan person in a crowd of sun-deprived people. People might think, “Wow, I bet they had a nice day laying out together,” or, “Day trip to the beach? I’m jealous.”
Whatever they think, it won’t matter because your squad will be popping off, and you will have bonded in your shared spray-tan adventures.
4. Do it for the confidence boost
Imagine: It’s finals season, and you’re stressed beyond belief. You haven’t seen anything other than the four walls of Library West in days. You jump at the sight of your sleep-deprived, stressed, unhappy self when you go to the bathroom.
Now imagine this: You take a study break to get a quick spray tan. You automatically feel better about yourself – healthier, happier and more confident. It’s similar to the feeling you have after spending all day at the beach except it takes a fraction of the time, and it’s better for your skin.
Whatever biases you have against spray tans, you can’t deny that you look and feel better when you’re tan. School is stressful. Life is hard. Even if you’re crying in the lib, you deserve to be beautiful and tan while doing it.
5. There’s a Groupon
If all of the above mentioned reasons weren’t enough to convince you to get a spray tan right now, this one should. There is a Groupon for Hot Spot Tanning Center in Gainesville for three spray tans for $26. Considering they are normally $20 a piece, you’re basically getting paid to get a spray tan. How could anyone argue against that?
Spray tans don’t deserve their negative stigma. As trivial as it may seem, getting a spray tan every once in a while makes me feel like I’m doing something for myself, and it instantly boosts whatever mood I’m in. Plus, you can get a glow without soaking up harmful rays of the sun. Feeling confident is the basis of kicking ass in all aspects of life, so go get the Groupon, get some friends, get a spray tan, and thank me later.