Looking over Del Playa, I couldn’t help but beam with pride over all of the chalk writings in support of stalking survivors as well as Stalking Awareness Month, which takes place in January. I was touched that the Women’s Resource Center had put on an event to bring light to this largely invisible issue by holding a discussion and chalking DP with affirmative messages. As a survivor of stalking, I believe it’s important to understand why Stalking Awareness Month exists and why it’s important.
What is considered stalking, anyway?
Stalking is defined by the National Institute of Justice as “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated (two or more occasions) visual or physical proximity, nonconsensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear.”
Breaking down that definition, stalking can also be defined in simpler terms as any form of communication, whether it be physically showing up in person or spamming someone with ten consecutive messages on social media, that is unwanted and can cause stress or duress to the victim. Stalking is most often an act of manipulation in order to gain power and control over another person’s mental health. When discussing stalking, it is important to talk about this issue from the survivor’s perspective as opposed to sympathizing with the perpetrator.
But stalking is pretty uncommon, right?
Wrong. Stalking is a serious and common issue that most commonly impacts young adults ages eighteen to twenty-four, making up approximately 50% of all reported stalkings according to the Bureau of Justice. The Department of Justice estimates that 15% of women and 6% of men have experienced stalking behaviors that made them fearful for their lives. As college students, we are all statistically far more likely to experience stalking at this point in our lives, and some of us already have.
If stalking is this common, why is it so rarely talked about?
Stalking is typically minimized and normalized by the media and by the prevalence of social media. The term “Facebook stalking” is used to describe checking out a person’s social media page without them knowing, but the widespread use of this phrase tends to diminish the seriousness of actual cyber stalking.
Stalking is also commonly romanticized in young adult romances, such as Twilight or in well known romantic comedies, such as There’s Something About Mary. By reinforcing the idea that unwanted romantic persistence is sweet or cute, it minimizes the experiences of stalking survivors and instead sees the event through the eyes of the stalker.
Survivors of stalking also tend to blame themselves for the actions of their stalkers, and many minimize the seriousness of the actions being brought upon them. Because stalking is most commonly committed by a person the survivor knows, it is easy for survivors to try and minimize their actions.
What can we do to bring awareness to this largely ignored issue?
The best way to bring attention to stalking is through education. By making the public aware of the commonality of this type of abuse, as well as the severe psychological repercussions stalking can have, the rate of victim blaming can be reduced. As Francis Bacon so famously said, “Knowledge is power.”