You may or may not have heard, but based on an interview with the chief executive of PepsiCo, Doritos is introducing a bag of chips specifically designed for women. I know what you’re thinking: “Thank goodness! Chip bags aren’t as feminine and delicate as I need them!” Or maybe you’re embarrassed you’ve been eating man-chips this whole time and are really relieved that finally you can eat a bag of chips properly! That’s right, folks. It’s 2018, and we may not have flying cars, a cure for cancer, or an invisibility cloak, but we sure do have Lady Chips.
So why are lady chips so much better than those gross old man-chips you were eating before? Well for one thing, you can take a dainty little bite of your lady chips, and quietly eat them while you simultaneously make a sandwich for your man and pretend not to notice the wage gap.
Now, all kidding aside, Lady Chips could be something that can catch on. However, if Lady Chips are becoming a thing, these chips REALLY better be chips for ladies.
Things I expect to come with Lady Chips:
- A box of chocolates. Because quite frankly, you just deserve it. Just splurge girl. Go. Don’t even think about it. Pull a Forrest Gump.
Image via The Rambling Man
2. Tampons for that time of the month. And cute ones, with little flowers and shit.
Image via Target
3. Inspiring quotes like, “men ain’t shit” to help get you through your day. You know, important stuff.
Image via Pinterest
4. Coupons to the good stores, like Victoria’s Secret, Bath and Body Works, and maybe even the Disney Store.
Image via General Bytes
So, if Lady Chips are going to be a thing, we don’t just need quieter bags and chips that make the flavor dust stay on more (although every gender should be thankful for a chip like that let’s be honest). Luckily, Doritos clarified on what their executive shared and said that they will not be making a Lady Chip. I know, my feminist heart is just breaking (*insert a sassy little eye roll*).
In conclusion, it’s 2018, so let’s focus on the things that really matter. Because there’s a lot to be thankful for this year, like your health, your family, and thefar-offf possibility of Lady Chips.