Sure, the holidays are great but here in Santa Barbara the oncoming winter months bring a unique challenge to the lives of women throughout the county. With evenings and mornings in the mid-forties but balmy and sunny afternoons, any combination of clothing you choose is destined for failure – leaving you a sweaty, hot mess or continuously shivering like a hairless chihuahua.
The wind, too, seems to be fighting for the demise of the women of UCSB. Hairstyles have long been forgone for a simple topbun in the face of Lucifer’s Breath (the freezing wind). And don’t you tell me that this is Southern California and I need to man up because I refuse to wear any shoes but flip flops and obivously the weather should bend to my will. Every morning I scroll through Patagucci’s online shop to find the perfect fleece to allay my woes and chilly toes and then biking to class, arriving and realizing that there are way too many layers on my body and who knew it was going to be so freakin’ hot today? I’ll just hide my beanie in my backpack and hope no one notices poor my body is at regulating its temperature …
So much preparation is required prior to leaving the cosy confines of your house these days – umbrella, jacket, beanie, gloves, the list goes on. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Besides which, no one understands how little heat my weak, fed-on-a-student-budget body can retain despite the relatively mild weather. Californians were not built for this climate, we need face-melting heat just to maintain a healthy homeostasis.
Adios amigos, I’m moving to Mexico. Shoutout to the brave souls on the East Coast, your chilly suffering is felt by us all.