Yes, I am a 19 going on 20-year-old virgin. Honestly, my life is no different from anyone else’s. I brush my teeth before bed. I pull all-nighters like any other collegiate. The only difference is that when it is time to discuss sex, I am a newbie. I do think about sex and what it might be like. However, since the age of 14, I was told that it was best to remain a virgin until I was married. The idea of “waiting until marriage” stuck with me until the end of my senior year of high school. Now, this did not stop me from watching Fifty Shades of Grey or singing along to one of Jeremih’s songs. However, it did stop me from going any further with my ex-boyfriend, whom I dated for a year.
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While my ex did not pressure me into having sex with him, he often hinted that he wanted to. Admittedly, I did as well, but I was not ready. It was not until Spring quarter that I thought I was ready. I thought, “Okay I have dated this guy for a year and four months now. I love him and he loves me. Why not? I feel ready and I am comfortable with him.” So there I was, getting ready to let go of my “virginity,” until he walked into my dorm and I realized I was not ready. I was not ready to give someone my all. I am glad I decided to keep my virginity and not give it to someone who would later break my heart, but that is a different story to tell.
I have this idea that once you have sex with someone, you get emotionally attached. Although this might not be true for others, I know this would be true for me. After my ex and I broke up, I was scared to date again because I’m a virgin in college, where it feels like everyone is sexually experienced. Who would want someone who is not experienced? While these insecurities stuck with me for a few days, I realized I shouldn’t give someone my virginity when I was not ready, when it was not on my terms.
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Now, I am a sophomore in college. Yes, I am asked “ What are you waiting for?” “Is it for religious reasons?” “Do you know what you are missing out on?” When I am asked these questions, I just shrug, smile, and say “I will lose it when I am ready.” I still go on dates, and when I feel that the date will go further than I am ready for, I pull back and tell him that I am a virgin and I plan to stay that way. Often, the guy respects that and we either continue to talk or I never hear from him again.
I wake up, go to school, study, eat, go to my orgs, and sleep.This is my life as a virgin, who BTW can’t drive.
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