It’s that time of the year again! The leaves are changing, pumpkin spice is literally everywhere, and the smell of mom’s home cooked turkey is right around the corner. But for those of you currently in a long distance relationship there’s a different kind of turkey waiting for you at home this Thanksgiving. It’s called the Turkey Drop.
What Is Turkey Drop?
For those who are unfamiliar with this college milestone I’ll lay the definition on a platter for you. The tradition of Turkey Dropping involves all couples who came into college with their hearts still attached to their high school sweetheart. They may have had high hopes of being that couple that doesn’t fall prey to the risks of long-distance relationships. Unfortunately after the first few months of college one or both of you realizes that it would be best to break up the next time you see each other. It’s the perfect time to do so because it’s definitely a rude move to dump someone on Christmas and too much of a cliche taboo to dump someone during Valentines. Thus, Thanksgiving has officially become the month of (hopefully) mutual break ups.
Why Does It Happen?
College is such a unique time in life. You are no longer a child yet you are not necessarily expected to shoulder all adult responsibilities. It’s your chance to flourish and evolve into a better version of yourself. This is especially true for freshmen that have left the nest for the first time. Your first year of college is both exhilarating and terrifying. It involves the beauty of going to a trashy frat party for the first time and somehow making it to that 8:00AM lecture the next morning. In high school you were surrounded by the same faces everyday but now you’re opening up to new people and different perspectives. All of these new experiences happen to you so quickly but for some freshmen things may be moving too fast.
You may want to find comfort in a familiar place. For many of you that place could be having a Netflix marathon on Skype with your BFF or ranting on about your day for hours with your parents. For those of you in long distance relationships your comfort zone is more than likely your SO. You probably never go a day without Skyping or calling your partner. With long distant relationships comes a lot of responsibility. In order to maintain one both partners absolutely need to communicate with each other and trust in each other. But this isn’t always easy.
What Are The Signs?
Eventually as weeks pass by you’ll start to realize that you’ve missed out on a lot of first-year experiences because you’ve spent so much time trying to maintain your relationship. At some point, one of you will start putting in more effort than the other. One missed call leads to another missed Skype session and the busier you get in academics and extracurriculars, the more of a hassle it’ll be to maintain your relationship.
This is usually when the dreaded question enters your mind: “Is this relationship worth keeping up?”
Now you may feel shocked that you’d even ask yourself that. You’re probably chastising yourself for even entertaining the thought of breaking up with your partner. Don’t worry. It’s natural to want things to work out between the two of you. Your relationship might be fine for now, but sometimes the business and long distance might just take too big of a toll on your relationship. A student from the University of Redlands, Rachel explained that “I started becoming more and more involved in Marching Band and music theory classes that I literally had no extra time to give to my boyfriend. I felt bad, but for once in my life I was living for myself, and just myself.”
What could make the situation more difficult is if your partner begins to hold you back from living your life. A student from the University of California Los Angeles, Michael says that “for the first month of college I practically lived in my room. She’d always want to Skype and talk any hour I wasn’t in class. All my meals were at my desk and I missed out on rushing because she was afraid I’d have less time for her.”
If you start to notice these signs and you genuinely feel more stressed trying to maintain your relationship then maybe it’s best to consider breaking up. You’re still figuring out who you are everyday. By next year you won’t even recognize who you were in high school. If your relationship can’t keep up with your new developments as a person then it’s time to reevaluate why you’re still in it in the first place.
It’s Not The End Of The World
Breaking up is never an easy process. Chances are if you both agreed to try long-distance then it’s safe to assume that you both genuinely cared for each other enough to do so. If you do decide to go through with the Turkey Dump just remember ~ as cliché as it sounds~ there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. You’re going to go back to college after Thanksgiving a newly single student. You’ll no longer be defined by another person but rather yourself and who you choose to be. It’s your time to take on the world and experience it all on your own. “I honestly don’t regret breaking up with my boyfriend. Yeah I was really down for a bit afterwards because we were together for 2 years. But as soon as I got back to college all I could think about was all the opportunities I could finally take on. It also doesn’t hurt that guys at my school are pretty attractive,” says Marisol, a student from the University of California San Diego. So take advantage of the next 4 years of your life and make them unforgettable.
Remember every turkey has a wishbone for a reason! So collect as many as you can because college is a wild journey!
Photos courtesy of Pexel
*The names in this article were changed to protect the privacy of each individual