“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”
Ever since my 20th birthday, my top priority has been to read through every single one of those Things to Do in Your 20’s articles. Here are a few *great* suggestions I have come across:
- “Say yes to everything for a certain length of time.” Sounds like a great way to lose what little sanity I may or may not still have.
- “Find your own home.” With what money?!
- “Train for a marathon.” LOL running.
Obviously I’m not going to agree with everything these articles have to say, but there is one suggestion they all have in common that really resonates with me.
Build meaningful relationships.
Seems simple enough, right? The friends that I have picked over the years have been, for the most part, pretty gosh darn terrific. Lately, I have been re-evaluating both myself and a couple of friends. I cannot stress enough how important it is to me to have meaningful friendships. Let’s be real, I need people to help me devour copious amounts of cheese fries. Other than the ability to stomach enough food to feed a small country, these are some of the qualities that I believe a meaningful friendship should consist of:
1. Dependability – This one is a given. How do you establish a true relationship with someone that you cannot rely on? Commitment is extremely important to me. You will never catch me making a promise that I cannot keep. I trust my friends to do the same.
2. Positivity – I’m a “glass half full” kind of gal. Yes, I do take time to vent every now and then, but who doesn’t? It is so incredibly emotionally draining when every conversation you have with someone revolves solely around complaints. Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally healthy and necessary to get things off your chest. But when something in my life goes wrong, I choose to look at it as a learning experience and I try my best to make it positive.
3. Genuineness – A big pet peeve of mine is when someone treats a person like a friend, but only when it is convenient to them. Every so often, I’ll get into a tiff with one of my friends, and then I’ll blow off some steam by telling another friend about it. That, in my opinion, is completely natural. What isn’t natural is constantly talking about a friend behind their back.
4. Respect – Always, always, always respect the opinions of others. This always rings true, but especially when it comes to your friends. Your friends are bound to have different opinions and qualities than you. Rather than view them as imperfections, embrace them.
5. Listener – I’m always down to listen to my friends rant about whatever is troubling them. One of the biggest turn-offs is when all someone does is talk about their own issues, but never seems to play the role of the listener in return. Also, FYI, you’re not really listening if you’re on your phone while your friend is talking.
6. Presence – I don’t know about y’all, but I like to be in the know when it comes to my friends’ lives. It’s important to touch base with your friends and be present in their lives; a true friend will not only do this, but will also make an effort to be with you in person when possible.
These are just a few of the traits I find to be imperative for a solid, meaningful friendship. Unfortunately, not every friendship you make is built to last. As I said earlier, I have been re-evaluating some of my relationships, and finding that these qualities in some cases are not even somewhat present. That, ladies and gents, is what I call a toxic relationship. I have come to realize that there are certain relationships that are causing stress to my life rather than enhancing it. No one should ever let their mood be decided by someone who couldn’t care less about how they feel; those people are not worth your time nor effort. Instead, make a continuous effort to surround yourself with nourishing, positive, and encouraging people who make you feel appreciated.
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