As the beautiful and oh-so-wise Carrie Bradshaw once said:
It’s such a simple word of advice, yet speaks volumes.
Naturally – as human beings – we seek approval, acceptance, and compliments. In order to feel wanted, we constantly surround ourselves with people. We jump into relationships, thinking it will fill a void. We tell ourselves we’re happy because someone is giving us attention. Worst of all, we hold on at all costs even when things turn toxic, because somehow being alone is much, much worse.
The concept of being alone has gained such a negative connotation. People assume that those who do things by themselves are depressed or severely introverted. In reality, they are the smart ones.
Solitude allows us to clear our brains of all the clutter and stress that is life. With little or no distractions, we can think clearly and be more productive. We can finally finish that book we started 3 months ago, study for a hard exam that’s coming up and confidently ace it, and even get a grasp on our goals for the future. College is supposed to be the best years of our lives. We need to take this time soak up and enjoy all the opportunity that surrounds us.
Finding happiness while being alone also gives us the opportunity to discover ourselves and find our own voice. We have the ability to become leaders and make the decisions that are best for us. We are given the luxury to get a grasp on our life and control where it goes. With a clear head comes a different outlook on life – an outlook that gives the world more meaning because it came from something we desired from within.
This doesn’t mean that being in a relationship or finding people who make us happy is something that should be avoided. In reality, it is great to be surrounded by those we love and care about, and who reciprocate those feelings. However, finding happiness on our own makes our friendships and relationships with others more positive and meaningful.
Above all, the one thing we must continue to remind ourselves is that being alone doesn’t mean we are lonely. Being alone means we are strong enough to be there for ourselves when others can’t.
And that is what falling in love with yourself first truly means.