Yes, we’ve all had our roommate issues. Maybe you guys went to bed at different times, had different philosophies on cleanliness or just didn’t mesh well together. But you probably didn’t go through what these girls experienced with their dormmates- absolute hell. Its hard to believe that there could be anyone worse than Ashley who chews with her mouth open, or Sarah who cleans her room at 4 am, but trust me, these terrible and true stories will make you hug Sarah and Ashley very tightly and never let them go.
She peed on my clothes: “My roommate and I would constantly disagree about space and whose area was whose within the dorm room. After a particularly large argument about my clothes ending up on her side of the room, I left for dinner with friends to cool off. When I came back, my roommate was M.I.A. and every single one of my drawers had been opened and covered in her pee. She peed on my clothes! Who does that? After hundreds of dollars of dry cleaning, we weren’t roommates anymore…”
She was a kleptomaniac: “Back when I lived in a sorority house, there was one girl who stole odds and end from the other sisters. Except she stole odds and ends that were completely random and useful, like my left shoe and a picture frame. Whenever I or one of the girls had “lost” anything, we charged up to her room and promptly asked for the object back, which she would innocently give us without a fight. It was like she had no recollection of stealing my oh-so desirable desk lamp and tampons!”
She called the police on me: “My mother was visiting for the weekend from out of town and visited me in my dorm for the evening. My roommates’ boyfriend would typically come over and spend the night with her, but that particular night, my mother was there. My roommate rudely asked my mother to leave and after she didn’t, decided that my mom was “trespassing” and called the police. When they came, they obviously didn’t arrest her and couldn’t help but to lecture my roommate on her stupidity.”
She claimed I beat her violently: “My roommate and I always had arguments about the way certain things went and how certain things should be done, and although we strongly disliked each other, nothing horrible ever happened. Until one night, after a not so abnormal disagreement, I was sitting in my room when the RA and security guard from the dorm burst in and escorted me out into the lobby aggressively, where they confronted me. Apparently my roommate called the RA and claimed that I had beaten her brutally. Of course they found her in her room, perfectly fine, with no marks or evidence to this completely false claim. I never knew people could blatantly lie like that.”
I put hand sanitizer in her shampoo: “I had three roommates total, and three of us thought that the fourth was psycho. She told on us constantly to the RA and her rudeness and attitude was exhaustingly annoying. After a full year of putting up with her attempts to get us into trouble, we finally did the only thing we could do: we put hand sanitizer in her shampoo bottle. Don’t worry, it didn’t do much more than dry her hair out pretty bad, but it was SO satisfying.”
Now lets take a moment to thank whatever higher power you believe in, that our obnoxious roommates didn’t pee on our clothes or call the cops on our sweet mothers. I guess some people really do have it worse than us, so hang on, be thankful and wait until next year when you can choose who you live with!