We all know the story of girl meets boy. It doesn’t matter where they meet whether that be on the dance floor of a night club, in line at the dining hall, or in the silent section of the library. What matters is that they hit it off, that they talk, and that they want to do it again. Way back in the day they’d probably agree to meet where they met or somewhere else on campus. A little more that fifteen years ago, they’d probably trade phone numbers and gab on the phone. But nowadays, they trade Snapchats, Instagram handles, and follows on Facebook.
That’s where the real trouble starts.
One thing that many girls agree on is that we are like the CIA when it comes to guys we like. We’ll find out what you had for breakfast five months ago, on a Monday and who you ate with faster than you can say Vanilla Bean Creme Frappuccino hold the whipped cream. And we can’t help it if we want to get to know the guy, or at least find out if he’s a creep before we make a long-term investment or tell all our friends of his existence. But sometimes this talent proves to be a curse.
Like when you find a picture of an old girlfriend—or worse a still current girlfriend—in his Instagram feed. Or you find out he spends all his time on Facebook reposting memes that even those with a low brow taste in humor find idiotic. Or you watch his snap story and see a scene straight out of “Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging”. You know the scene: the one where a guy is joking around with his friends and holds a lit match to the behind of one of them as he farts and makes a stink cloud of fire. One must wonder what would be worse: the guy you like being the one holding the match, or the one letting it rip?
These are the times we live in. We can quickly and easily write a guy off the moment we discover something we don’t like on his social media accounts, no matter how old it may be. And while it seems brilliant on the surface: why waste your time on a less than perfect guy when you can find someone worth your time—it also proves hazardous for conversations with even the nicest of guys.
Since you checked out his social media you already know about his dog passing away last year, or the name of his favorite band, or that he and his best friend from high school want to backpack around Australia two summers from now. All the fun of discovering new and interesting facts about a possible love connection, or ever new friend, is lost since there is very little he can say to you that could surprise you. And since this is sometimes the case for guys too, the cycle continues to run its course in a repetitive circle that rarely ends with any kind of commitment. It’s like why some people watch “the movie” before reading “the book”: why read 300 pages when the story is condensed for you into 110 minutes?
We’ve lost the desire to discover the truth and would rather go digging for dirt.
So, here’s a challenge. The next time a guy peaks your fancy, don’t look him up on social media. Don’t even ask for usernames of any sort. Ask for his phone number or even better ask him to meet you somewhere to hang out to get coffee or grab a bite to eat. He’s college boy so he’ll probably be hungry anyway.
I’ve actually been more or less forced to take this challenge myself. The guy I’m talking to barely uses his Facebook (only to keep up with events for his frat), uses Snapchat like texting while rarely (if ever) posting to his story, and doesn’t have an Instagram or Twitter account.
At first this kind of freaked me out, but I never realized how satisfying it could be to talk to someone in person and have them tell you about themselves rather than finding out all the information online. It’s a connection that even an iPhone can’t imitate.