Everyone knows that Tinder is an app for whatever you want it to be: hookups, relationships, friendships, temporary dates for an upcoming event, and more. But truthfully, it doesn’t even matter what you’re looking for because when you swipe through the countless amount of frogs just to find that one Prince Charming (or something like that), you’ll find that it really feels like you’re just looking at the same five guys over and over because their profiles are filled with the same bios and the same type of photos. It’s almost like someone took a cloning machine, replicated one particular guy, and had them all make a profile at the same time! On that note, here are a few cliches from guys I’m completely tired of seeing again and again. Boys, take notes if you wanna get to the possible girl of your dreams quicker.
1. Anything involving the word “adventures”
“Let’s go on some adventures.” “I’m up for adventure!” Boys, this is extremely vague…what exactly do you mean by an “adventure”? Everybody’s definition of that is different, and for all I know your definition could be going camping in the middle of nowhere, and guess who isn’t trying to do any of that? If “let’s go on an adventure!!!” is essentially the only thing you have on your bio besides the basics (like your height, for some reason), then why even bother? Are y’all really this boring? I refuse to believe that for a minute.
2. At least one photo of you with a fish
I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve swiped through guys that have at least one photo of them fishing out in the water. They always have a gigantic fish they caught in their hands. I know fishing is a very common hobby, but with all the fishing photos I look at on Tinder, I feel like these people might be a part of some secret cult and catching a giant fish is a rite of passage…either that or they could just be bots.
3. “Ask me and you’ll find out.”
Really, guys? This practically translates into “I’m honestly too lazy to write a few sentences or phrases about myself so I don’t know just message me I guess”. Like…can I at least know some basic information about you? You don’t have to write out an entire memoir, but even just your favorite color, food, and some of your favorite pastimes will suffice!
4. Just your Snapchat and Instagram handle
If this is the only thing you have in your bio, that’s just more encouragement for me to swipe left. Not only does it give me the impression that you’re not very exciting (see: #3), it just feels super lazy to me. I get that it’s probably to prove that you’re a real person, but come on, not everyone is adamant to readily add random people from Tinder on Snap. You could be a scammer, for all I know, or one of those weirdos that DMs you on Instagram 24/7 and refuses to take a hint. Can you say “Block”?
5. Lifting your shirt up to show off your abs
Whenever I see any photo like this on a guy’s profile, I really feel like I’m back in middle school all over again. Picture this: it’s 2008. MySpace is still a thing, and our profiles are rampant with glitter graphics and selfies before the term was even coined. You could go on any guy’s MySpace profile and see not only mirror pics, but also those photos where he’s lifting up his shirt to show off his rock-hard abs and that V-line. That might have been really hot for us back then, but that was then, and we were like 13 years old anyway. Fellas, get with the times.
6. What I like to call “Potato pictures”
How is it 2017 and I still come across profiles with photos that look like they might as well have been taken with a rock? We have so much advanced technology readily available to us for this purpose, and you choose to just ignore all of this in favor of photos with 7×3 resolution? I don’t know if this is some new hipster trend I’m not aware of in which low-quality pictures are used ironically, but either way, it’s pretty useless. Put down the rock, pick up your smartphone, take a pic, and SMILE!…ok, maybe don’t smile if you don’t want to. It’s perfectly ok because I don’t really smile that much either.
7. A virtually empty profile with only one photo
This last cliche might just be the worst offender that is also wrapped up in a ball of mystery and confusion. Is it a bot? Is it a real person? Did they start to create a Tinder profile and completely forget about it? Or did they think that just one photo and nothing else would be sufficient to [attempt to] get girls? The world may never know…unless you swipe right, that is! But that still won’t tell you much, so it’s best to just abandon that false match and move on.
Guys, the bottom line is it doesn’t matter what you’re on Tinder for. Nobody will want to swipe right on you if your profile contains at least one of these. It’s all tired, it’s a snoozefest, it’s a fricking eyesore, and we know at least most of you can do better than this. If you want us ladies to go from this:
to this
when looking at your profile, just put in some effort to stand out from the rest. Once you at least try to be less boring, you will be a champion at this Tinder thing! Or something like that.