6 Types of People on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is a hit or miss holiday. You either have a bae or you don’t, and that usually determines how we end up spending the day. Whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, you probably fall under one of these 6 Valentine’s Day profiles.
1. The Single’s Awareness advocate: The one who campaigns against everything Valentine’s Day stands for because the cards, chocolate and balloons are constant reminders of their singleness.
Relationship status: Single and proud/secretly jealous.
V Day Plan of Action: Let the world know how single you are by posting ‘Happy Single Awareness Day’ to social media and spend the rest of the day stalking your ex’s Facebook and watching Netflix.
2. The couple that wants the world to know just how in love they are: The overwhelmingly ‘in love’ pair that makes the rest of us gag when they post pictures of themselves wearing their matching t-shirts.
Relationship status: TAKEN BY THEIR SOULMATE/BFFFFF <3
V Day Plan of Action: Spend every waking minute of the day together and post to every social media about how much fun you’re having and how much you love each other so everyone can know about it and be really happy for you.
3. The one who makes cards and cupcakes for everyone: Just like in elementary school when you had to bring Valentine’s for everyone and drop them in each other’s mailboxes, except we’re not in 1st grade.
Relationship status: Happily single and/or slightly depressed.
V Day Plan of Action: Spend all night Feb. 13 making cards and sweets for your friends who you claim to be ‘the only loves you need’. Spend all of Valentine’s Day delivering the goods and spreading the cheer to avoid any real emotions.
4. The chocolate lover: The one who gets a little too excited about clearance chocolate on February 15th.
Relationship status: In a relationship with chocolate.
V Day Plan of Action: Spend the day eating you’re feelings away.
5. The oblivious significant other: The half of the relationship that forgot to make reservations and buy flowers.
Relationship status: In a relationship/soon to be single.
V Day Plan of Action: Wake up to a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day <3’ text from bae, have a mini-heart attack, and rush to the store to buy whatever’s left to cover up the fact that you totally forgot. Most likely an argument about how little the relationship means to you will follow.
6. The cheapskate skeptic: The one who refuses to involve themselves in the spirit of the holiday and protests against buying love through teddy bears and flowers.
Relationship status: Single and kind of bitter.
V Day Plan of Action: Rant on Facebook about how Valentine’s Day is just corrupt capitalist-oriented day created by corporations who want to make money off of our emotions.
There’s no denying it. We’ve all been one of these people at one point or another. No shame though, you’re not alone. Regardless, happy Valentines to those in a relationship, and happy Singles Awareness to those who are proudly flying solo. To the skeptics, happy February 14th.