I want to start off by saying props to all of you who are currently in a long-distance relationship. Relationships are tough in the first place, but put six hours between the two of you and it gets about ten times harder.
Talking to your boyfriend or girlfriend on the phone every night instead of actually being able to spend time with them can make you feel like there’s no point. It would just be easier if you were to be with someone who lived in the same town as you. It’s one thing to be there for someone emotionally, but relationships are also for physical reasons—to give them a hug when they are upset, to lie in bed with them after a long day, to be able to hang out and do nothing with them to purely enjoy their company.
Not only is it hard not having them around, but it’s hard to actually keep the relationship. You get jealous, lonely, angry, and insecure all at the same time. When you fight, you have to resolve it over the phone, not face to face. It’s tough.
You do this for a reason, though. The person you are with is so important to you that you’d rather have them six hours away than not have them at all.
But some people have mastered it. Some are perfectly happy being in a long-distance relationship and barely ever have problems. In fact, some people prefer it. It allows you to not rely on that person and enjoy the time you do get to spend together. Some even think it is healthy for a relationship because it prevents you from suffocating one another.
Sounds nice, right? So I spoke with some of our fellow collegiates who are happy with the six hours between them to find out how they make it work. Here are some rules to follow to keep your long-distance relationship stronger than ever. Even if you aren’t in a long-distance relationship, these rules can still apply to you.
1) TRUST them. They are yours, after all. Don’t fill your head with thoughts of them going out with other people. It’s no secret that trust is the key factor to any relationship, long distance or not. With no trust, you’re doomed to fail at this long-distance thing
2) Keep the Facebook stalking to a minimum. Nothing is more annoying than hearing, “Oh my god. Who is that girl who wrote on your wall?”
3) Just because they don’t text you before they are going to bed doesn’t mean that they’re really out at a bar making out with some girl. Chill out. Don’t worry about them. That’s only going to bring you stress. Don’t call them fifty times. It’s just annoying.
4) Stay involved in your significant other’s life. If you can’t be there physically, make sure that they still feel you are there spiritually. Okay, not “spiritually,” but you know what I mean. Ask them what’s going on in their life and what they are up to. Take time out of your day to have a genuine conversation. Switch it up from the “Hey, what’s up” texting norms.
5) When you are with them, DO NOT, and I repeat DO. NOT. go through their phone. It’s a complete invasion of personal privacy and makes you look crazy. This rule applies to every relationship, not just long distance.
6) NEVER fight when you are together. Why waste such precious time? If you have unresolved issues, talk them out when you see each other. But never yell or accuse. Be mature about your issues.
7) Send them “good morning” texts. It’s not always the guy’s job to text you first, and it shows them that just because they are outta sight, doesn’t mean they’re outta mind. Show them that you care and don’t always rely on them to be the communicators.
8) Just because you’re committed to them physically doesn’t mean you’re committed to them mentally. If you’re having thoughts of being with other people, be careful. Sometimes thoughts turn into actions, and you don’t want to ruin a good thing.
9) Skype is your best friend. Get with it.
10) Surprise them on their birthday or when they have a special event going on in their life. Nothing is better than seeing a face you love unexpectedly.
11) Keep it fun. When you finally get to spend time with the person you barely see, you’re either going to want to just lie in bed with them all day or go out and do fun things. Keep it at a medium.
12) Never question their commitment by asking things like, “Are you sure you want to keep doing this?” It makes you look self-conscious. If they are investing time into you even six hours away, they care about you.
13) Don’t cheat. They will find out. That is all.
14) Show/tell them how much you care about them. Never let them forget or question your feelings towards them.
15) Last, but CERTAINTLY not least is communication. If you get in a fight, don’t be that immature girl (or guy) who says, “OMG we are breaking up.” Talk it out. Since you guys live so far apart, it’s important to work out every problem to avoid them stacking on top of each other.