Theme parks are truly awesome. They bring so much excitement and fun, nothing beats going on rollercoasters and visiting Cinderella’s castle, but theme parks also bring unavoidable nuisances that you can’t escape no matter what. Growing up in Florida, I’ve been to every theme park around and I’ve experienced almost every scenario. After going this past weekend, I was inspired to share what’s it’s like when you’re not that overly-excited little kid anymore…you start realizing all the unavoid-ables theme parks have (sorry for the buzz kill).
Expensive Tickets! Usually, this is always worth it—but why can’t I go to Disney for 5 bucks? Pretty please?
Tourists, EVERYWHERE! By the time you know your way around the park, you’re on a mission to get to where you want to go. But, tourists tend to stand right in the middle of the walkway to take a picture of just about…anything. *Omg Disney’s grass, must take a pic* they usually found wearing fanny packs, matching family shirts, a map in hand, and sunscreen on. Tourists get really aggravating because they’re everywhere and they’re always lost—but they’re just mostly in our way. When you say “excuse me” they don’t usually speak English to understand you, and by the end of the day you’re just like uggghh move it or lose it lady!
The Sweaty & Smelly: Nothing is worse than standing in the Florida heat with someone behind you passing gas—no air circulates in long lines! It’s gross, but this happens just about every time I visit a theme park; along with the guy who forgot deodorant that morning and reeks of B.O. Walking past people, you just know who showered and who didn’t. (Or should I say, should).
Long Lines: I pretty much know the good time frames to visit a theme park, summer is never one of them because the lines and the heat are unbearable. The lines at theme parks are the worst because people get all up on you. I don’t really understand why? Getting all up in my grill isn’t going to make the line move faster? Plus, most belong in the sweaty & smelly category ^
Crying Children… Like tourists, they seem to be everywhere too. Crying, screaming obnoxiously, and crying some more…doesn’t ever want to make me have kids that’s for sure. I like the ones who are exhausted and passed out in their stroller. On commercials they’re always dressed up so cute—yeah well, little Cinderella is actually a brat.
Busy Bathrooms: For some reason, the girls’ bathroom always has a line compared to the boys’. While peeing, you get to hear conversations in languages you don’t even understand as you wait in a line almost as long as the one you were just in for the ride. Fun, right?
Overpriced Food: I really don’t want to pay $5 for a water but I guess I will because I need to…and they know that. Theme parks’ food is always so ridiculously overpriced but people buy it anyways because you’re there and why the hell not, right? From the Butterbeer in Islands of Adventures to the turkey leg in Magic Kingdom. They. Know. What. They’re. Doing. To. Me.
Water Rides: You can avoid this, but in Florida, it’s like you almost need to go on Splash Mountain to survive! Water rides stink because your jean shorts stick to your butt and you shortly realize you’re un-purposely participating in a wet white tee-shirt contest. Damn.
Unexpected Rain: One minute it’s sunny, and the next, there’s a torrential downpour and you have to spend $20.00 for a poncho (which becomes your souvenir because now you ran out of cash).
Sore Feet: Walking long distances is pretty unavoidable at theme parks. We’ve all made the mistake of wearing the wrong shoes and getting blisters all over our feet. I’ve learned at theme parks, your best bet is comfort > style.
This is just the reality of a good ole’ day visiting Mickey and Minnie, but don’t get me wrong—theme parks are a great time. Those are just some of the unavoidable mishaps you will face while going. The good times and touristy-like pictures you take for memories make it all worth it so you will live happily ever after!