Do the majority of your road trips (or even short drives to the grocery store) consist of one-liners like:
“Just tell me where to turn!”
“Wait, am I going the right way?”
“Somebody help me figure out where I’m going!”
If they do, then you should already have it figured out that you are directionally challenged. Let’s face it; it’s not your fault that you have the absolute misfortune of being the one with no sense of North, South, East, or West. I mean, who even really knows “Cardinal Directions” unless the car is telling you somewhere on the dashboard? And let’s not even mention the fact that all roads look pretty much exactly the same; so why are you even getting blamed for having no idea where you’re going in first place? You can spend all day justifying why directions are not your thing. But to be honest, the only justification is that some people are going to be great at directions and others, well, they will fail every time. Trust me, I know- going 20 miles down Alligator Alley (eek!) until finally realizing I took the wrong exit, was not a high point in my life. So for all my directionally challenged peeps out there, this one’s for you! Embrace the struggle, because it’s oh so real.
1. You can’t go anywhere without a GPS
If you don’t have a GPS, are you really even directionally challenged? Your GPS is basically your child. You don’t go anywhere without it and it talks to you like a little person. Whether it’s through your phone, built into your car, or placed up on the dashboard, the GPS never gets left behind. How else are you going to drive 5 miles down the street if you don’t have something telling you where to turn every 100 feet? It’s not like you’re going to tell yourself where to go. Talk about an essential!
2. You warn all your passengers beforehand that you are awful with directions
The first words that come out of your mouth when friends pile into the car, “Sorry guys, I’m horrible with directions. I don’t know where to go.” It’s like a broken record on repeat. You’ve said it so many times that by now the words kind of just fall out of your mouth. Don’t worry about it too much. I mean, it’s best they are forewarned, right?
3. You take the same route every time
The GPS may give you 4 different routes to possibly take, but choosing a completely different one than usual is just plain senseless. This driving thing is hard enough, why make yourself any more confused than you already are? You’ve already become acquainted with the same landmarks and at least have some familiarity. Plus, it’s a lot more enjoyable to act like you knew how to get there, and did it with ease.
4. Multitasking while driving is a no-no
Driving is the best time to blast music, have gossip sessions, and even daydream about life. As someone who never has any idea where they’re going, these are things you only do when NOT in the driver’s seat. You might try and pay attention to several things at once, but you tend to end up on quite the detour. As the directionally challenged driver behind the wheel, you know it is your job to keep distractions at a minimum.
5. Getting lost is a normal occurrence
Almost as normal brushing your teeth and putting on your shoes in the morning. Maybe the GPS was wrong or maybe you caved and started paying more attention to the conversation that was happening in the back seat. Either way, you are not anywhere close to reaching your destination. Surprising? Not really.
6. You’ve mastered the art of not freaking out when you get lost
Sure your heart drops a little, and a very momentary feeling of unsettlement creeps up on you, but then you realize you’ve been lost before. Many, many, times before. It’s moments like these when your GPS is actually necessary, and guess what, you have one! Good thing you know how to keep it calm, cool, and collected during something like this. Well, most of the time at least.
7. Frantic phone calls to family are sometimes very necessary
When you can’t seem to keep your ish together while lost, it’s time to call the parents. Having lived in the age where a paper map was essentially the Holy Grail of directions, they know just how to get you back on track. Or at least mentally stable again.
8. Having a road-savvy passenger in the car is necessary at all times
When you’re directionally challenged, things in the car can get a little crazy at times. It’s not always possible to focus on the road, a GPS, and street signs. all at once. Having someone in the passenger seat who understands the way of the road is crucial. Since people love feeling like they know everything, your directionally inclined friend is always down for the challenge.
9. You’re late to most things
Whoops, your bad. It’s hard to be on time when factoring in the misfortunes of taking a brand new route that you are painfully unaccustomed to, getting lost, and then trying to find our way back on track. Being directionally challenged is stressful enough, what does everyone expect you do?
10. Nothing can take away the joy of getting somewhere without help
Although this is a very rare occurrence, it can be done. And when it happens, boy is it astonishing. Even if it was only because you were going to a friend’s house and you’ve memorized how to get there, you still celebrate. These things don’t happen often so you enjoy it while you can!
Yes, let’s celebrate you. Because directionally challenged people are the best kind of people.