When sunny days, pool parties, and music festival season rolls around, it’s inevitable to start hearing the excited banter of a large demographic of people who love the sun and crave a tan. But along with the excitement that comes with tanning and getting that “summer bronze,” comes an entirely different set of insecurities and anxieties from girls like me, who fear getting darker in the summer.
Western ideals of beauty that have for centuries plagued colonized countries like India aren’t a thing of the past and still very apparent in the mentality of Indians both in India and in Western countries. Campaigns from products like Fair and Lovely promote a culture of beauty in fairness and paleness, while simultaneously diminishing the beauty of darker skin.
Growing up, my mother and older women in my life have made not-so-subtle comments on the ills and undesirability of tanning and getting darker in the sun. Whenever summer rolled around, I was advised not to spend too much time in the sun, to lather copious amounts of sunscreen all over my body and to use lightening face masks to combat the tan I’d inevitably get.
Source: Pexels
Surrounding myself with body positive and encouraging women has made my journey with accepting my skin as beautiful easier. And as I’ve grown to love my skin and become more comfortable with the chameleonic nature of my skin, I still have my moments of insecurity every summer.
I feel a familiar tenseness and insecurity when someone innocently comments on my tan or how I’ve gotten darker in the summer. For a moment, I revert back to that girl that lathered on sunscreen, that would spend days indoors fearing the sun, and that would stare at the areas of my skin that hadn’t tanned and long for that color to be the color of my entire body.
Overcoming these insecurities isn’t an easy journey, and I know that they will plague a small part of me my entire life. But surrounding myself with women that uplift me, becoming more educated on issues regarding beauty standards around the world, and learning to value myself as more than my physical skin are all ways that have aided me in growing into a stronger person. So if you’re anything like me, summers will be hard, but the sun and its sweltering rays of heat should never get in the way of your happiness and your dreams.
None of the images used belong to the author or Her Campus UC Davis.
Thumbnail courtesy of Pexels.