Trigger warning: sexual assault
This article is an anonymous contribution by a UCD undergraduate student.
A little over a year ago, I was sexually harassed. Long story short, I was taking a shower when I discovered a person trying to film me. I caught him, and law enforcement and the school got involved. To this day, the court case is still going on.
I didn’t realize the immense repercussions and emotional trauma that would follow. I went to a counselor who told me I was experiencing post-traumatic stress. The PTS took a great toll on me physically and mentally. Little by little, I discovered different things that helped make it a little bit easier. I wanted to share what helped just in case – heaven forbid -someone else is desperately searching online after a traumatic incident and stumbles upon this article for some guidance.
I found a new fear of being afraid of the dark
I could not turn off the lights at night – I was like a kid again. I kept the lights on all night. I found a solution by using my Christmas lights, that way my room wasn’t completely dark, and I could combat the unknown of the darkness.
I could not fall asleep This one took a while to fix. It was very hard to sleep, mainly due to fear and too many things on my mind. I found having my best friend sleep over or sleeping over at her place helped, because I wasn’t alone. I also got the advice from my counselor to put on a happy cartoon show before I fall asleep if I’m alone (I watched Powerpuff Girls). My counselor also suggested journaling, which really did help a lot. I had a notes section on my phone where I would just type out everything that was on my mind. It was very cathartic.
I experienced a loss of appetite
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to eat; I just had no appetite at all. Little by little, this came back. It helps if you eat with a friend, that way you’re kind of forced to eat something.
I had panic attacks
To deal with the panic attacks, it was vital for me to journal. I found myself about to have a panic attack whenever my thoughts were overwhelming or when I didn’t talk to anyone about how I felt or what was on my mind. Journaling really got me to have a conversation with myself and, although it may not always end on a happy note, it really releases everything that is cooped up in your head.
I was academically struggling
I had to take two incompletes for the quarter, and I failed (for the first time) two classes the following quarter. I wish I had a bit more knowledge about the steps I could take for when I was struggling. My biggest help was from the Victim Advocate at CARE (Center for Advocacy, Resources, and Education). She helped give me options of what I could do and also reached out to my professors on my behalf. I also learned, when I was struggling again during the time of the court case, that you can drop a course after the 20-day mark if you get permission from the dean of your college. I did this and it was granted permission due to my given situation.
I was feeling alone
Even if you’re surrounded by people, you can feel so alone because no one understands what you’re going through. To cope with this feeling, my counselor suggested again the journaling, which did help. But I also needed to keep busy. If I wasn’t busy, I would find myself alone with my thoughts – which was dangerous. This was actually where Her Campus stepped in; I joined and had another new activity to do besides academics. I got to meet new people who truly gave me joy.
Overall, it’s going to suck. I still get triggered sometimes and have flashbacks. But the little things do help. Everyone is different though, so do seek out help and resources to figure what is best for you. Remember: you are not alone. You are strong and you will get through this one way or another.
UC Davis Resources on Campus: CARE: (530) 752-3299 Counseling Services: (530) 752-2349
*None of the images used belong to Her Campus or the author.