Social anxiety has been the bane of many people’s existence. It makes the most basic human actions some of the hardest challenges a person could ever face, such as participating in a debate or simply raising a hand in class. Most people often don’t know where such fears stem from – was it a traumatic experience or simply the thought of having everyone’s sole attention the reason why people feel very uncomfortable?
Mine, for instance, stems from a traumatic experience that happened in the first grade when I was scolded harshly by a teacher in front of the class for misbehaving. Ever since then, I’ve hated the idea of being the center of attention. It has kept me from joining clubs, intensified my fear of talking to professors, and has even kept me from making new friends.
There’s really only one thing that can be done: never allow social anxiety to win ever again and shape your life.
I can tell you that, from my own experience, I’ve slowly regained control back over parts of my life that my social anxiety has taken away from me by constantly doing things that made me feel uncomfortable. I’ve made it my life mission to go to office hours on a daily basis and have even joined a speech and debate team. And slowly, but surely, my life is changing for the better. To this day, my social anxiety still continues to haunt me, but it is not as daunting as it had been before.
Here are some baby steps you can take to help you conquer your social anxiety!
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1. Find out the reason why you have social anxiety to begin with. Realizing where it came from will help answer the “Why am I so scared?” question you’ve probably been asking yourself before or after standing in front of a room filled with strangers.
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2. Do something that makes you uncomfortable which forces you to speak or socialize in front or with strangers. Be careful with this step. Don’t overwhelm yourself with pressure. Raise your hand in class more often, and when that makes you comfortable enough, go to office hours and talk to your professors in a one-on-one setting. Then, see if you can do it in a larger setting like joining a speech and debate club or partaking in performing arts. Take small steps until you’re ready to take bigger ones.
3. Tell yourself that you can and will do it. What I realized about having social anxiety is that there’s a small voice in your head telling you that you’re going to fail, and fail hard, in front of everyone, and that therefore, you shouldn’t do the activity you wanted to do to begin with.
That is not true. Let yourself be the voice of reason and not your fears. Tell yourself that the hypothetical failures that your fears have conjured up in your head are nothing but baseless lies. And even if you do embarrass yourself, you know that the people watching you will not crucify you for simply making a mistake in front of them.
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4. The most important step: be confident in your own capabilities and strengths because you know and I know that you can do it.
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Don’t let irrational fears be the reason that keeps you from reaching your goals and aspirations before you even got the opportunity to do so. Most important of all is to not let social anxiety be the reason that keeps you from becoming a better person than you were before.
Source: Twenty20
Cover image source: Pexels