So you’re at the gym and a cute someone has caught your attention. So what do you do? Do you come up with a lame excuse like “Oh, he or she probably has a boyfriend or a girlfriend” or “Oh, he or she seems busy so I don’t want to bother them” and walk away? Or, do you decide to take the initiative to approach them? Say you do decide to approach that person. Now you’re thinking, okay, what am I going to say? How should I walk up to them? Should I make eye contact before I walk over? What’s my excuse for approaching him or her if I get rejected? Well let’s fast forward through all the mumbo jumbo.
Let’s say you approach that certain someone, introduced yourself, you get an introduction in return (if you’re lucky), but things end up crumbling after that. You’re probably asking yourself, “What just happened? What did I do wrong? Wow, that person is such a jerk!” And now, you tell yourself that you’ll never approach another cute someone ever again. If you have ever been in or continue to be in this situation, then the following will help debunk the whole carpe-diem-crap-I-just-got-the-cold-shoulder-rejection situation.
Believe it or not, the gym has social ethics and guidelines of its own. And I’m not talking about using a partner to spot you while you work out or the 20 minute common courtesy rule on the treadmill. I’m talking about social ethics and guidelines to approaching that cute person across the room while they are exercising.
Girls
If you see a cute guy across the room, make sure you’re aware of your surroundings, as well as his surroundings. One of the most inconsiderate things you can do to a guy is interrupt him in the middle of lifting, specifically if he is in the middle of the motion. Not only is that a major turn off for most guys (who take the gym somewhat seriously), but you immediately get on his bad side.
The guy can then do a number of things:
1) Straight up ignore you.
2) Look at you and continue with his work out.
3) Accidentally (or purposely, who knows!) drop the dumbbell on or near you.
4) Acknowledge you very briefly then give you the cold shoulder.
5) Yell or curse at you for interrupting him.
6) The possibilities are endless.
Imagine a guy abruptly interrupting you while you’re plucking your eyebrows, putting on lip gloss/lipstick, putting on eye shadow/mascara, or any other delicate task. The gym is that delicate task for a guy (usually, in a general exaggerated sense). You would react by jumping up, becoming frightened or scared, and gettin mad, right? Now, I’m not trying to discourage from approaching guys at the gym. It’s still totally do-able! You just have to wait for the right moment. You can try catching him when he’s arriving or leaving the gym, in between his work out exercises, when he’s getting water, or when he’s resting in between his sets.
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Finally, if you’re willing to approach the guy and know when to approach him but you don’t know what to say, don’t stress out about it! Just be yourself. You can always pretend to be interested in a certain exercise he was doing earlier, ask him advice about doing abs, ask for assistance on how to use a particular machine, or you can compliment him on his physicality (that always makes a guy feel better about himself even if he doesn’t admit it to you face-to-face). This is something for you to decide. I’m sure you can come up with a creative way to initiate conversation.
Guys
The same basically applies to you. There’s no need to repeat the aforementioned. However, make sure you make eye contact with the girl you’re approaching. For her sake, and most importantly, your sake for getting on her good side, please do not stare at her chest, behind, or any other unmentioned body part. Not only does that make you seem like a pervert, but it’s disrespectful. If you expect to get a chance to introduce yourself in the first place, then show the girl some sign of respect.
Although there are unspoken social ethics
Photos: Provided by our photographer Koy Saephanh