If there is something that I have heard recently that has taken me by surprise, it is people telling me, “You’re so nice!” and “Thank you so much!” Last month, my friend and I went to see an artist, who she loves, and I offered to take pictures because her phone camera is not as good as mine. Last week, I had to read and review three friends’ papers because they are not native English speakers. This week, I sent three emails asking questions for my friends who didn’t feel comfortable doing so. Am I really doing more than other people?
I honestly do not have an answer for that, but what I do know is that I try to help others as best as I can.
There is a difference between helping others and being taken for granted. The line is thin, but what I’m talking about here is, if you know someone who needs help and you can help them, offer it. Not only do you make their lives a bit easier, but studies also show that helping others makes you happy. For this reason, many people who are happy are those who constantly do volunteer work.
While I am not saying you should volunteer to achieve happiness, for me, there’s no denying that helping my friends, classmates, family, and acquaintances contributes to my happiness.
For me, this feeling comes especially with my friends who may be younger than me. Having freshmen friends is certainly different than having friends of the same age or older. While I am a transfer student who has been at UCI around the same time as a freshman, coming straight from high school and coming from community college or another university are completely different experiences. Because of this, not only do I seek to be a friend to my friends, but also someone they can count on while they are figuring out what they want to do in their college career.
For the friends who I don’t have classes with anymore, I occasionally send them a message, asking them how they have been doing. It may be considered small talk for some, but the fact is that, nowadays, no one really asks how well we are. The only time is when a professor or a boss asks you to make small talk and you say, “I’m fine,” even if you may not be.
Let’s remind ourselves about the fact that helping others does not only mean doing favors. Helping others includes giving advice and encouragement to those who might have been too afraid to do what they wanted before your help. It is raising your friend’s self-esteem, which may be for a love interest or a test grade. It is acknowledging that you may have different views from your friend, and that those views do not invalidate either side.
I constantly see how I can help my friends, who are mostly women, because we are now living in a world where we assume everyone can do well without someone’s help. I do what I have always been doing because I realize that there is no way to live life without asking and receiving help from others.