Life is hard for everyone; I think we can all agree on that. Growing up subjected to a cluster of media, literature, films and songs that have predominately been created and published by men, has not made it any easier for anyone. Nevertheless, women are not completely powerless. Thankfully, we have more control over the way we are portrayed now, so it is our responsibility to show why feminism is good for everyone, regardless of the rumor that feminists are anti-men.
It is common for people to think that women who are eager to defend their own rights are also against men’s rights, usually because that is the only way we can make sense of it, sadly. However, it is not our fault that many believe that feminists are man haters.
Most men grow up thinking that women like to frolic in the meadows for their free time, and that they don’t fart or poop or swear. When women display leadership skills, they’re told that they are too bossy, and when they happen to like the color pink, they are too girly. If we cannot be feminine and strong at the same time, we can never win.
For some time, men and women have been told they have to look and act a certain way to be considered masculine. I think the reason for that is because in the many forms of media we look at every day, only the flat, unidimensional ideals of men and women have been represented. It is important that we recognize that those ideals have placed pressure not only on women but on men too. They are unrealistic, for all sexes. The expectations and oppressive standards placed on women are still a problem today. But I think the ideals set for men are part of the whole reason that they exist. Men have been told that they have to be six foot five, ridiculously buff and unemotional in order to be manly or strong, and in agreement with that kind of logic women have been told they need to be the opposite. There can be no grey area, no mix between masculine and feminine. However, the whole point of feminism is to bring equality, and create that space.
It has been a popular conversation topic for some feminists to address the problem of society telling women that they are too bossy, or to act more lady like. Thus, it is really important that we keep rejecting that kind of mentality. Nevertheless, I think it is fair to say that we have not heard much discussion about women who are often taken advantage of, who happen to be more shy about expressing their rights. These are girls who are told that they dress too girly, or that they are too emotional. Some people seem to think that feminism is not for them, but in reality the truth is quite the opposite.
Feminism is for the girly girls–Society seems to have no other name for us, but I think the better phrase would be “human”. We don’t think that wearing feminine clothes makes us less tough, or that being sensitive is a flaw. We are sensitive, and we are strong. Strength is not about being harsh; it is not about being loud. Also, we will damn well wear those combat boots with a pink bow tie in our hair if we want to.
“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.”-Zooey Deschanel
Feminism is for the tomboys–These include the girls who have been competing against their brothers from day one, or whom were teased because they liked hot wheels more than they liked Barbies. We are tired of competing to earn respect, and we are tired of being told that leadership is for men.
While much of the driving force behind women’s rights and feminism can be attributed to bad ass women who are no-nonsense, patriarchy slaying warriors who genuinely understood the double standards that have been impressed upon women for so long…I think a lot of other girls join feminism simply because they are tired of being taken advantage of. We are not all as tough as Gloria Steinem, but why does being that way allow society to disregard us in the first place? For some reason, if you are not a type A personality type, or an outspoken individual you are usually told you need to be more confident, but that is not true. Just be who you are, and that is more than enough.
“One child, one teacher, one book and one pen can change the world.” -Malala Yousafzai
Feminism is for the humanists–We have looked at all the books and movies out there. We believe in equal rights and equal treatment. We kind of get the feeling that the whole reason women have been expected to look or act a certain way for some time is that all those men in charge of the books we read create an ideal of womanliness and manliness that is unattainable for both sexes.
“Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong…It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum not as two opposing sets of ideals.”-Emma Watson
We need to accept that feminism is for everyone. The idea that women, men, transgender and children can act however they want without consideration for gender roles, is for some reason viewed as a radical notion. The truth is, it’s not. People should be free to be whoever they are.
Feminism is for girls who want to define their own femininity, their own strength and their own lives. It is for everyone who believes in equality, for those who do not need to reject anything that could be considered a feminine quality to heighten their own masculinity. Life is hard for everyone, yes, but it would be a lot easier if society stopped setting standards for men and women that they can’t live up to.
Oh and by the way, we women are really really tired of unequal pay.