My natural hair is dark brown – not a creamy chocolate, but almost a deadening black – in color, of medium length (was quite longer a few months ago; for this interesting story, read my article, Cutting Decades), of extremely dry texture (but it can become the epitome of greasy hair within the span of just two days), and smells like nothing. I wish my hair had some sort of fragrance but like hips, hair doesn’t (don’t?) lie. Currently, it is lounging on the tops of my shoulders. I usually keep it in a tight bun or a high ponytail. When I was young, my mother (an individual with enough knowledge to resemble that of a keritonologist’s) used to handle the job of arranging it into two piglets pony-tails. At the time, I was definitely impersonating a Winnie the Pooh character, and it was cool to do it. Now, not so much.
I’ve never really been the person to explicitly like doing anything with my hair – whether it be changing its style from straight to curly/wavy, its color from pitch black to sexy blonde, or its texture/length to make it something more sophisticated. Don’t get me wrong: if it’s your wish to change your hair into something that makes you collectively more confident, witty and amazing, then, by all means, head over to the salon. I’ll confess though: I’m not change-friendly. It just makes me panic, and my youth somehow doesn’t give me the strength or guts to take even the first step for it. For me, I was never about changing my hair into something that it never was ever since I had it from birth. I was interested in maintaining it even more than improving it. Hence, learning to love my natural hair was as easy as breathing. Nevertheless, this article will be a complete waste unless it provided some relatable tips for my lovely collegiettes out there!
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Realize that it’s a unique part of you
Whatever your religion or beliefs may be, it makes sense to believe that the way you were made – in regards to hair and all its aspects – was best for YOU. By learning to love your God-given hair, you are essentially accepting a part of yourself that has been there all your life. I’m not saying it’s the most important part or that it should be, but just realizing that it makes up who you are, and defines one of your physical characteristics might not be such a bad thing. Trying to change it is not bad at all either, but sometimes, when the results that are expected are not achieved, you may wonder why you bothered to change your hair at all. It might have looked much more beautiful before the perm you had attempted. Recognizing that the coils and kinks in your hair are awesome the way they were born and that no one else has them.
2. Know that changing your hair has its consequences, both good and bad
I like to think of this step as the “altering” process since it makes it sound so much more serious and detrimental than it is kept to be. This step means that you are literally modifying the keratin proteins and enzymes within the threads, cells, and neurons of your hair – you are changing the minerals and composition that embodies it. You are re-making the biology of your hair, and often-times, this will be irreversible and irrevocable.
The products and sulfates that you use, the chemicals and hair sprays you apply to keep the rest of the chemicals and products in place, often end up abusing your hair and stalling its natural growth. Sometimes, through the process of refining your hair, you end up destroying the so-called ‘little’ beauty that it did possess before the entire ‘artificial strengthening’ procedure commenced. Changing your hair, in whatever form, will have tradeoffs that even a good Google search won’t reveal. Think about it: how was the health of human hair millions of years ago, when nothing other than water and some mint/herbs existed for keeping hair clean? They had no ‘enhancing products’, dry shampoo, curlers, straighteners, hair sprays, hair wands, or anything technically similar of the sort, at the time, and they still possessed super-healthy hair. Fun fact: healthy hair signals to the opposite sex of your high reproductive prowess and fertility, which at the time of the dinosaurs/human age, was super important in order to create the 7.3 billion people of today! Plus, there wasn’t much competition back then, too, between competing for mates like there is now.
3. Self-loving your hair is healthy and adds to your overall beauty
Loving your hair as it makes loving everything else about yourself – including when you are in the process of refining, perfecting and improving it through healthy diet and exercise and supplements and vitamins and minerals and gym memberships (whew!). It sort of removes all the emotional baggage that you were carrying around – the worry and concern you had about how your hair looked in general, how thin it had become, how dull it seemed, how short (or long) it made your overall figure look, how it framed your face in a negative way, and other anxieties that ultimately weigh you down. Massaging your scalp, bathing it in lavender/castor/palmarosa oil, coating your lengths in apple cider vinegar, changing up your shampoo from time to time, will stimulate your hair roots and will lead to healthy, long-lasting, tangle-free and frizz-free hair that will complement not only your confidence but also the consequent smile!
I love my hair not because it’s dark brown, grows relatively quickly (very slowly though, during the school year; Cal has a way of stunting my hair growth along with my GPA progression), or has a faint shine to it, but because it’s mine and only mine. It’s what I was born with; it’s what my family has grown up with, and it’s what I remember my mother braiding and combing and massaging and oiling and ‘pig-tailing’ since I was a little child (oh, the good ol’ days). My hair holds sentimental value with me because it literally holds some of my most pleasant memories within it; it’s a part of my identity, and while I have nothing against refining and improving one’s identity, I don’t think I will be me anymore if I change my signature hair and my subsequent identity. I don’t want to change it. It’s God-given and it’s a part of me. It’s who I am.
I will add, though, that I have considered dying my hair with chocolate henna from time to time and am waiting for a relatively stress-free and peaceful time to commit to such a drastic change (as I mentioned, my hair is almost a midnight black right now, so a light brown henna would be a dramatic alteration for me and my personality). It will add a beautiful touch of tradition to my hair, which I certainly will never mind (if my family had the whole ‘family heirloom’ thing going on that goes with the hair, I would commit to it ASAP). Read: this means some time that is NOT during the school year. I have also heavily considered getting a pixie cut to somewhat resemble Alice Hale from The Twilight Saga movie series; please don’t judge me for this. I’m a hopeless romantic. There, I have officially declared myself.
Love your hair; it’s unlikely you’ll ever regret the happiness, lack of consternation and overall sense of freedom you feel because of it. I know I definitely don’t.