When Getting Hit On Is "Creepy"

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These days, it is beyond common to hear most girls state that a creepy guy has hit on her before. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve said those exact words myself, a general distaste in my mouth when men approach. 


But does that apply to all men? Will all men be designated as a “creep” sometime in their life? 

Unfortunately, it seems as if individuals highly associate creepy men as those who don’t fit the mold of attractiveness.  Let’s observe what can be deemed as an account of sexual harassment.


Say the not-so-attractive man at the bar tells you you’re hot and asks for your number. No advances, no cat-calling. You go home to your friends and tell them you were harassed again at the club.


Say the man that you find attractive comes over, calls you sexy, and asks for your number and you go home to your friends and tell them about the most dreamy man you met. Are the behaviors of this man different than that of an attractive man who approaches you at the bar?


Albeit, many men act in ways that are more forward and inappropriate than the scenarios above. But the real question is why is there a tendency to accept or discriminate against certain behaviors based on appearances? If we truly use a nondiscriminatory measure of sexual harassment, then it has to be equally defined, regardless of appearance. 

Now, let’s flip the scenario around to remember why allowing one behavior and disallowing another solely based on looks is unacceptable. 


Let’s picture two women at the gym, both wearing sports bras. One has the body that fits the mold of what’s currently “in” right now, say a body like Kylie Jenner. The other has a body that doesn’t fit society’s cultural norms and that’s okay! So then, out of the blue, a staff comes up and tells only one of the girls that she has to go change because of a policy with sports bras. The other girl, standing right next to her with a sports bra as well,  is not asked to change. 


If they have both violated the policies of the gym, they both need to be called out and addressed equally or this is a form of discrimination on the matter of appearances.


Unfortunately, this not-so-subtle and blindsided discrimination of what we deem as sexual harassment is prevalent. 


This entails that you set a ground level of what you find creepy. Is being told you’re sexy by any stranger creepy? If so, then both the men above need to be in that categorized in what you think of as sexual harassment. If you think an attractive guy asking for your number to be normal, then you cannot go and define an unattractive guy doing the same behavior as sexual harassment. Or maybe within the same behaviors, age of the man hitting on you is the distinguishing factor for you. 


Whatever it may be for you, personally, it is essential to define and set those lines clearly.