College is the time where we find ourselves; we will discover what we are passionate about, who we are passionate about, and how we want to express these emotions. The only problem is the constant changes we undergo while trying to discover this different aspects and parts of our lives. It’s an uncomfortable, up-in-the-air kind of feeling, where you have no idea who you want to be or what kind of people you want to be around. You may go through phases where you’re trying to participate in activities that you would never have thought could possibly fit inside of your comfort zone.
We try to fit ourselves inside of this grey area where we don’t know whether what we are doing actually suits the kind of person that we almost-are. We work to try to define ourselves, not just through what we have enjoyed in the past, but through what we could possibly enjoy in the future. And the trouble is, it feels very forced.
The world is full of a vast amount of opportunities, and we are only now holding the complete freedom we need to reach out and grab any of these opportunities that we deem fit out lives well enough to want to engrain them as a habit. Deciding what habits are healthy and support your well-being is really difficult when you have no idea what kind of lifestyle you want to support.
It’s especially difficult once you realize that you don’t have much time outside of classes, studying, or countless social events to decide who you are when you’re alone. There’s little to no time to do this task which everyone tells you you will complete over the next few years.
To make the breakdown even easier, it may be easier to start at the other end of the spectrum; instead of finding who you want to be, focus on who you don’t want to be. Take away the aspects of your social activities and free time which support the type of person you would not be proud of yourself for turning into. The best way to maintain your authenticity is by staying true to your values, and if that means that you have decided an activity is not for you, then you have every right to not have to participate in that activity.
Discovering who you want to be is quite a wild ride, and you are bound to try as many(or as few) new things as you can all throughout your four years on campus. But, the one thing to remember is that you don’t have to do these activities for anyone else. You don’t have to do anything, all you have to do is find a lifestyle that makes you feel comfortable.
That being said, do not be afraid to try something that you would have never thought would be enjoyable to you. You may just find something that fuels your positivity and drive in life. For example, I didn’t rush a sorority my freshman year because I wanted to find myself outside of a group of other people. Unfortunately for me, this made the beginning of college at a huge campus feel very lonely. Then the processes of open bidding for greek life opened up, and the opportunity sort of just fell my way. It’s a brand new experience, and it’s helping me thrive; sometimes you can find these types of lifestyle changes in places you never expected them to appear.
I am not saying that you need to find who we are right away during college, more that it’s okay to know what works and what doesn’t with the type of lifestyle you are planning on living after college. Try to remain as true to the self that will make you the happiest you can be.