As I scroll through the photos from the past five months, I reflect on how different I was in August: a deer in the headlights arriving in YVR. For the first time I feel like I have grown so much in such a short amount of time. My first lesson in my first semester of college was memorizing how to get to my dorm from the commons block. Here are five things that soon followed.
Things will never be as they were a year ago.
Throughout the term, little bouts of nostalgia began to hit me at unexpected moments. Besides being reminded of my best friends by looking at physical objects and photos they gave me, I relived fond memories by hearing certain songs and being around certain scents. Although I miss how things were back then, I am glad it is a time of the past. We have been conditioned to let go of the bad but sometimes, for our own sake, we must accept what’s in the past and learn to let go of the good, too.
Some friendships have an expiration date.
Before I left home, keeping up with my relationships seemed so effortless. With all the current technology, I thought I’d be able to Skype, Facetime, and iMessage constantly. However, once you accept the terms of your new life, you grow too comfortable. On top of all the distractions, adjustments, and responsibilities, laziness kicks in and suddenly, the committed words you’ve exchanged are now just an empty promise. No matter if you’re 20 or 2000 miles from home, you must accept that the people you saw every day are now on different paths than you. Most of the time, the people you are meant to keep in touch with are the ones you don’t think twice about sacrificing homework or social events for.
Although you’ll always wish them well and know that you’ve had great memories, you’ll realize that not everyone is meant to stay forever or that your friendship won’t be as strong as it once was.
My mind is stronger than I thought.
For the majority of that August plane ride, I was still in denial that I was leaving the only place I’ve ever called home. Before long, reality hit me and the worries about what to expect kicked in. I had originally been apprehensive about attending UBC, as it was on another coast and in another country. I couldn’t relate to many people since the majority of those I knew weren’t leaving the state, let alone the country. Although I didn’t enter UBC with open arms, it quickly grew on me and I found myself adapting quickly, wondering why I was so worried in the beginning. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was better than that.
There is always going to be someone better than you.
In high school, you might have been infamously dubbed as the comedian, artist, science geek, or the daredevil of the class. Once you enter uni, you are thrust into a huge pool of people. I had to come to accept that I was no longer going to be the best at the one thing that I thought defined me. No matter if it’s a matter of academics or personality, there always exists someone who will be better at it. All you have to remember is that no one can do you better than you. When there is such a large student body, there is no longer room for labels. With so many attributes to my identity, I have realized I don’t want to be defined by one thing.
My perspective about home changed.
My nostalgia was a combination of missing the things and people I love and the person I once was. It’s even mixed with the comfort of daily routine such as the drive back home from school or the view from my bedroom window.
I had always anticipated missing my friends. But I was surprised to find myself missing the place that I was so eager to leave behind. It wasn’t a matter of missing the concrete place itself but the fact that I had spent most of my adolescence there. Where I had evolved through the many stages of childhood and teenagehood. Where I had met people that I’ll never be able to replace. Where I had created eternal memories. It makes me wish I had cherished more of my time there instead of thinking so much about how I couldn’t wait to leave. I didn’t realize I’d miss the things I had until they were no longer mine to keep.
Although I was sad to learn certain truths, I’m grateful that I have, and now anticipate what lies ahead.