So you may have heard that the Kardashians are kurrently expecting a kollection of kute new kids. Khloé, Kim, and Kylie are all reportedly gearing up to welcome new additions to the most infamous reality tv family of the current age. In keeping with the family’s theme, I would like to propose 12 trendy ‘K’ names for the sisters to konsider (that’s the last one, I swear):
1. Kodak
In honour of all the camera-shot moments this child will live through.
2. Klaxon
Like ‘Jaxon’, but actually a loud annoying warning siren. On second thought, maybe not the best name to give a baby…
3. Kale
Ensure your kid is super trendy by naming them after a superfood! Another good option: ‘Kinoa’.
4. Kirk
Good if you want your child to boldly go where no one has gone before, and old-fashioned enough to be hipster.
5. Krakatoa
Naming your kid after the largest volcano eruption in recorded history is sure to haunt you whenever a volcanic-strength tantrum erupts.
6. Krzysztof
Pronounced “Kristoff”, this name has enough unnecessary letters to satisfy a whole yoga class full of hipster parents.
7. Kudzu
An invasive plant that grows very quickly. Has good potential for many dad jokes, especially regarding the phrase, “you’re growing up so fast!”
8. Koi
Decorative carp. Very aesthetic, not particularly useful.
9. Key
Cute and sweet. I’m thinking of this one specifically for Kim’s baby – that or ‘Wild’. You know, anything that goes with “West”.
10. Kobalt
Cobalt is a nice blue-grey colour, many times more unique than any colour of Ivy out there (looking at you, Beyoncé). Of course, we switched the first letter to ‘K’ for maximum trendiness.
11. Koh-I-Noor
Famous diamond that is part of the British Crown Jewels which, like many national symbols of Britain, was stolen from India long-ago.
12. Kinkajou
A really cute animal, but the real highlight of this moniker is the unfortunate nickname of ‘Kinky’.
And so konkludes my list of kontributions (okay, almost done now) to the Kardashian naming process. Full disclosure, any and all of these names are virtually guaranteed to make your children resent you at some point in their lives. Now all that’s left to do is wait a few months and we’ll see if my suggestions made the kut (sorry-not-sorry).
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