Have you ever wished you could get advice for your everyday relationship, school, family, and work problems from people who keep it real? So have we! That’s why Her Campus UAB is excited to introduce our very own advice column. Dear Agony is refreshingly honest advice from an anonymous panel of your peers. We promise to always keep it real, so if you need advice, drop your questions here!
Dear Agony,
I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for like a year now. We hardly ever go out together and when we do it’s usually at night. I’ve yet to meet his parents and I don’t know many of his friends. My friends say that he has another girlfriend and is using me as his side chick, but I can’t believe that he’s way too sweet if a guy, and I don’t even think side chicks are a real thing! What is a girl to do!?
Dear Side-Chick Maybe,
For starters, “side girlfriends” are more than just Scandal and Mary-Jane characters. They do exist! As a woman, it’s important for you to know how to read and understand a man. A guy will never bring you home to meet his mother unless he is serious about the relationship, but also keep in mind, that as college students, meeting his mother might not be realistic. What if she lives in another state? Going out at night is not a bad sign, since most college students do go out at night time. The fact that your dates are few and far between is where the red flag comes in; obviously his time is occupied somewhere else. Now if you guys go to the same school and you don’t know any of his friends, that should be a major warning. Being a sweet guy doesn’t make him an honest guy. You guys should definitely sit down and talk about what the both of you want out of this relationship, and don’t forget to mention what’s bothering you! If you notice he starts to change, then he really wants to work things out with you; but if things stay the say the same, then you should seriously consider ending the relationship.
Dear Agony,
How do you make more friends? Sometimes I find myself eating alone or staying in on weekends because I have no one to go out with.
Dear Lonely,
One of the best ways to make friends is by joining an organization. If you’re a part of something on campus, it’ll keep you busy and the other members of the organization are bound to have something in common with you. Another foolproof way is to ask your classmates if they want to study or work on homework together. You could even invite them to have lunch with you one day. As much as you probably don’t want to hear this, you really have to put yourself out there to make friends in college. It’s not like high school where you see the same faces everyday, and everybody knows everybody. You have to work harder for these friendships, but in the end it’s much more rewarding and it’s totally worth it!
Dear Agony,
My roommates are complete slobs. They never take out the trash, wash the dishes, or any kind of cleaning! I’m tired of it and they are really making me hate it here. What should I do?
Dear Roommate Trouble,
There are two things you could do in this situation! Although you probably don’t want to, you could clean the entire suite yourself. Immediately after you finish, you and all of your roommates should have a house meeting. Inform them that it’s inappropriate for females to live in filth and if they can’t naturally clean up after themselves, then you guys will have to start a chore list. Now if you find yourself constantly cleaning up after them, then you should consider option two. You should confront each roommate, of course in the most mature way you know how, and appoint everyone a task to be responsible for. Hopefully that’ll solve the problem, but if not, you should set up a conference with your RA or RLC.
Dear Agony,
Me and my ex have been hanging out more often lately. I think I’m starting to catch feelings all over again but it’s hard to tell if he’s serious about the relationship or if he’s just looking for sex and someone who he knows will do just about anything for him. Help me please, I’m lost!
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
First you need to decide what YOU want out of this situation. Remember why you two broke up and think about if you’re willing to potentially go through that again. If you broke up over something minor, then it maybe worth giving things another chance; but if it was a deal-breaker that tore you two apart, then it’s not worth it. After you decide what you want, you need to talk to your ex and see where he is trying to take things. If he’s not interested in a relationship, then you should cut all ties. You’re already catching feelings now, it would only get worse if you stuck around, and definitely if you tried the “friends-with-benefits relationship.”