University life can be hectic enough without the added expenses of tuition, textbooks, food, and rent; never mind the expenses that come with going out, socializing, and finding the time to travel. Enter SeekingArrangement.com.
SeekingArrangement.com is a website for women (or sugar babies) to find their ideal arrangement with wealthy, well-off men (sugar daddies). According to the website’s “How it Works” section, a sugar daddy is defined as:
Conversely, sugar babies are:
The “Sugar Lifestyle” is defined as an arrangement where both parties are on the same page without false pretenses. Sugar daddies and sugar babies seeking an arrangement can state up front what they do or do not want, and what they are or are not willing to provide in return, including companionship, money, and yes, even sex.
However, with the controversial nature of the website, a lot of criticism has arisen over the SeekingArrangement process. Due to the majority of relationships on the website involving the exchange of money between young, college-aged women and older, wealthy men for “services,” many critics are quick to call it a sex trade or prostitution.
However, women involved in the “sugar dating” process view it differently. Many find it one of the best experiences they’ve ever had. Sugar babies and daddies can negotiate allowances, some more than $10, 000 a month. According to statistics, the average monthly allowance in Canada is $2, 615. According to some women, instead of sex, the majority of men on the website are looking for a “girlfriend experience” more than anything else. While sex can be a requirement or offered, it is by no means the end all be all of these arrangements. Some women have called it “cashing in on the patriarchy” where you’re “attempting to level the playing field.” Many women, instead of looking for hook-ups, look for mentors who can help with their futures.
On the other hand, men on the website are often seeking companionship, or someone to just talk to. Yes, some are married, and while some do use the service to cheat on their wives, others, instead of sleeping with their sugar babies, are mentors. Some men are looking for “a little bit of drama and a little bit of excitement at meeting other people.”
The interest around these arrangements has increased so much that several documentaries currently exist about sugar dating.
While sugar dating might not be for everyone, perhaps the stigma around the process is unwarranted. While some of these relationships could potentially be dangerous, it’s important to establish and negotiate what will and will not happen happen before anything starts, and to set boundaries before relationships esclate to a point where either one or both parties begin to feel uncomfortable. Many women view the experience as putting matters into their own hands, on their own terms through establishing these relationships. In comparison to prostitution, the process of sugaring is arguably a lot safer due to the screening process and users being given the ability to establish up front what they’re willing and not willing to give and receive. Unlike prostitution, for which some components are criminalized in Canada (such as the purchase of sex from a prostitute but not the act of selling sex itself), sugaring gives young women the power to pay off debts, build relationships, and establish their careers without necessarily the added caveat of sex, on their own terms.
Perhaps the question is that as long as these relationships are established safely and transparently on even, level playing fields, why can’t a young woman seek an arrangement for help to pay off her bills and debts or establish her career?