A compliment that has stuck with me was when someone I barely knew told me that they loved my confidence. It came as such a shock to me, considering not even a year ago, I had anxiety from even asking a sales clerk to help me find something at Walmart! What I find even more crazy is that I can attribute all of my self-love and “go-getting” attitude to that day when I decided, out of the blue, to buy and wear a pair of anatomical muscle leggings:
Odd thing to dedicate my confidence to, huh? Over the months after my purchase, I realized that if I felt comfortable wearing whatever I wanted in public without the feeling of being judged, I could apply the same kind of attitude to any of the social situations I felt anxious towards. Since then, I’ve felt less scared of putting myself out there and taking any opportunity I could to grow and improve myself. As ironic as it is, I started my journey of gaining self-confidence through faking it.
But how does exuding fake confidence actually give you real confidence? A study by Tara Kraft and Sarah Pressman of the University of Kansas showed that “different types of smiling, and the awareness of smiling, affects individuals’ ability to recover from episodes of stress.” Half of the participants were “trained” to create a standard smile that would engage their facial muscles using chopsticks, and were then asked to do stressful tasks while making said smile. The other half were not instructed to make this smile while they did these tasks. The results show that “compared to participants who held neutral facial expressions, participants who were instructed to smile…had lower heart rate levels after recovery from the stressful activities. The participants who held chopsticks in a manner that forced them to smile, but were not explicitly told to smile as part of the training, also reported a smaller decrease in positive effect compared to those who held neutral facial expressions” (Pressman).
Similarly, when you fake your confidence, you eventually start actually feeling confident. I guess “fake it until you make it” ain’t such a bad life motto, eh? Now, science aside, I’ve compiled some useful tips to help give off that vibe that you have your life together and you can take on the world
1. Care about your self-image
I’m not saying everyone who reads this should go out and buy a wacky piece to wear everyday in public (but if you’re into that and it’s safe, do it by all means!), but they didn’t make up the phrase “if you look good, you feel good” for nothing. Wake up those few extra minutes so you can look and feel great in your own skin.
2. Hold yourself up with confidence
Body posture is everything when you’re faking confidence. Our species is one extremely dependent on visual cues, and it shows when someone seems unapproachable and self-conscious because they hold themselves in such a way
Whatever image you’re going for, body posture can improve it. Even if you claim to be the shyest person you know, I can guarantee you that exuding determination and fearlessness through posture shows those around you that you’re ready to take on anything
3. Take all the selfies
My boyfriend always points out that I take “at least a thousand selfies a day” (which isn’t too far off if you take the average). The most important thing you could ever do if you look particularly amazing one day is to document it. There’s absolutely no shame in wanting to preserve the days you feel flawless. Take pictures all around your house, outside, anywhere that makes the things you love about yourself shine. So what if people make faces when you’re looking fantastic at Starbucks? Is it so wrong to feel proud about your appearance in that one particular moment? Which brings me to my next point:
4. Stop thinking about what others think
It’s extremely easy to lock-on to the negative comments we get about ourselves, and doing so makes it difficult to feel happy in our own skin. Only you wake up in your body and only you have the right to change what you want. If people don’t like what you’re doing, most of the time it’s simply a tactic to bring you down. Stop focusing on the negative opinions of you and embrace the loving compliments from your family and friends.
5. Tell yourself everyday that you’re gonna do great
This goes hand-in-hand with that “smiling study” mentioned before: if you tell yourself every day that you’re ready to take on whatever life brings at you today, be it saying hi to the people on the floor you live on for the first time, acing that interview you have, or even getting out of bed for the first time in days. Hey, after a few weeks of psyching yourself up, asking a sales clerk for help will seem like a cake-walk.
Of course, this isn’t a quick remedy for any social situation you may encounter; otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing about how to fake confidence to obtain confidence. It’s going to be a step-by-step process and I think that’s what’s so great about it. There will be a time where one day, you’ll realize that you really can do whatever you want without inhibitions or the fear of being judged. If faking that image gets you there, then by all means, fake it until you make it.
Photo sources:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b4/46/f1/b446f147e92d57a7ad202…
http://www.manicomioseries.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/gif-5.gif
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1iykw3/how_to_walk_like_a_queen/
Article:http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/07/120730150113.htm