Edited by: Veronika Potylitsina
Three months ago, two amazing things happened to me – I started school at U of T Law, and I married the love of my life, Shimon! These are two very transformative changes, especially since I had never lived with a boyfriend before I got married and therefore it’s my first time living with a romantic partner. We are both students, and it got me thinking how living with him changes my university experience, especially compared to my undergrad, where my lifestyle looked so much different than it does now. I love living with my husband (probably because we are both 80-year-olds at heart and now I have an amazing excuse to never go out, but also because I love him I guess), and it got me thinking – what are the pros and cons with living with someone during your school experience?
Pros
You get to see them all the time!
School gets very busy, and it’s hard to spend quality time with people you’re seeing between all of your other obligations. When you live with your SO, every mealtime and bedtime can be transformed into a bonding moment.
Constant emotional support
If your SO is as amazing as my husband is, then you feel their love and support all the time, through the thick and thin, and it…never ends! Also, you can’t hide your lows from them well because you see each other all the time, so they always know when something’s up.
Splitting household chores
How did I ever do all my own laundry, dishes, cleaning, and cooking?! (I’ll tell you how – my past apartments were way dirtier.) Being able to divide the labour is incredible!
Everything you need is at home!
As I said before, my husband and I are 80-year-olds at heart. Our idea of a crazy night is going to the symphony. It’s amazing to have an excuse to not have to go to events geared to singles like pub nights. When the law school pub nights happen, I usually have been in pajamas for hours already. My life is incredible.
You share common expenses
If we weren’t married, we would paying for two apartments, two sets of groceries, two full kitchens etc. Since we are both students and neither of us have any meaningful income, we are saving money and resources by being married and living together!
Cons
You see them…all the time…
I know, I know, this was also one of my pros. But there is also a flip side – sometimes it can be hard to truly get alone time when you’re living with someone who you share a room with, no matter how much you may love their presence! Also, since you see them all the time, sometimes scheduling in intentional time together, like date nights, can fall by the wayside. Pro tip: make sure you still go on dates! (We love Hart House theatre and other affordable nights out around the city!)
They see you at your best…but also your worst
It’s hard sometimes for the person you love most to see you at your lows – when you have that paper due at midnight and you haven’t washed your hair in a disturbingly long time, when you have PMS and you’re ugly crying for no reason, or when you accidentally left your hair all over the shower (guilty). Also, if you get into a fight, there is no getting away until it’s resolved! Experiencing that vulnerability can be tough.
Living with your SO can be an amazing experience, but it’s a big step! Open communication is key, and whatever you decide to do, it’s a great learning experience either way!