It’s pretty weird that you spend your entire life growing up but no one really tells you what’s in store. I started my junior year roughly three weeks ago. Since then its been a roller coaster of questions like, how do I put my best self forward with my friends, classes, professors, teachers, etc.? But more importantly, how do I prove to myself that I am, in fact, ready to grow up? And how do I prove that I am not only ready, but capable, of being the person I need to be at this age?
Growing up comes in waves. As my cousin in kindergarten phrased it, you don’t really grow up until the second grade because in the second grade your homework becomes hard. Let it be noted that my cousin in kindergarten does indeed have homework and that is bizarre to me. But I think this process of growing up continues forever. It’s a roller coaster of emotions and you just have to be ready to answer all the questions at each individual wave. It sucks but it’s true, and this rollercoaster will haunt every individual who joins this one trip ride to adulthood.
Anyway, back to my first point. Growing up. I’m now a junior in college. If anything, it feels like I’ve regressed to being a fratty freshman, unaware of what I want to do or who I want to be. For the first time in my life I am forced to clean, cook, study, exercise, and everything in between. I don’t feel ready yet, but I am confident that I will at some point. The problem is that all of a sudden, I am forced to feel ready. I am forced to feel capable of doing something—or rather, multiple things—that I have never had to do. I am not alone in this, and I am certainly not the only one who feels this way. But I guess I just never thought it would be me. Why don’t I have an obvious direction? Why am I incapable of moving past my own past? Why am I stuck in the mindset of my grandparents’ generation when the world is moving so far beyond that point?
I don’t know where I’m going or who I will be, but I know it will be okay. Everything has been fine up to this point, so why should I assume anything will change? Why should I question my own talents and skills when the world is letting me move at my own pace? There are no answers to these questions and maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we create this chaos for ourselves and there’s simply no one there to tell us to calm down. And even if there is, maybe we simply do not believe them. We are raised to think we are unstoppable. But we are only as powerful as we believe, and if we don’t believe in ourselves, we become our own enemies.
So in the midst of these changes, which happen at an exponentially fast rate, I challenge you—and me—to hit the pause button. Press snooze and hope for the best. Pray with all of your might and all of your soul that everything happens for a reason. Because someone, or something, out there, is rooting for you. There is a greater goal in everything you do. You are more than your present, but don’t rush to your future. Enjoy the person you are right now—at this current moment—because this is all you have. Love yourself and love those around you. Don’t fear the future, just embrace the present. And on that note, let yourself breathe. Breathe because you can. Breathe because others can’t. And most importantly, breathe because you freaking want to.
Images courtesy of: UNC