Walking around campus during the first few days after Spring Break, it’s not hard to spot the slightly sunburned, heavy-eyed, already-nostalgic individuals wearing neon wristbands: the Puerto Vallarta travelers (or survivors, some might argue). Over the course of a 7-day marathon of all-inclusive drinking, dancing, (barely) sleeping, and essentially living life with no rules, I learned a lot.
Here is a list of candid advice that is hopefully helpful to future naive college spring breakers:
1. These trips get expensive.
I knew the day I signed up that my reluctant parents wouldn’t be paying for a week of college shenanigans; this one was on me. As a result, I was extremely cognizant of every charge to my small pool of summer-job savings. In addition to paying almost $2000 the for the all-inclusive trip, I was later charged $400 for a non-optional “party package,” and was told that I would need to bring an additional $200-$300 with me in cash to pay for cabs and occasional meals outside of the resort. It is no secret that these hotels and college travel businesses are out to get your money – some people were fined upwards of $500 for “lost” hotel property that they never received in the first place, or a “broken” hair dryer that they never even used. Even dirty towels can rack up fines, so be careful. I wish I had known upfront how much money this one week would suck from my bank account.
2. You will rarely see your friends sober.
Even though the tequila shots taste like they’re 75% water and there is no requirement to keep drinking, when everyone else is drunkenly dancing on a beach, and the Miami Vices taste heavenly, and you already paid 2 grand for this week, you will inevitably be getting hammered. The problem arises when you repeat this pattern for 7 days and 7 nights straight. Pace yourself and use your brain. Being that girl who is blackout pulling trig over her balcony or on the side of the road is really not worth it.
3. You’re not “weak” if you take a day off.
When you wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a freight-train, you probably should. I had the best time staying in one night doing face masks with my friends and watching Frozen in Spanish on our little TV. Another day we took a bus into downtown PV and bought delicious street tacos and shopped for souvenirs. You will make it through the week most successfully if you take breaks.
4. The hookup culture is strong, but you can still have a blast without it.
I was especially worried about this aspect, because my boyfriend was not going on the trip with me. I had been told multiple times “Go to PV single or it will absolutely suck.” Not true! I’ll admit, at times it was tough to go to darties and be surrounded by passionate PV lovers making out in the middle of the pool, but at the end of the day, having that romance is one tiny piece amid a paradise of sunshine, free drinks, guacamole, good music, and best-friend bonding time. I was able to reconnect with so many friends who I had lost touch with due to busy Michigan life. So if you’re cuffed, don’t let that deter you. Live it up as a third wheel, be a great wingman, and enjoy not having to worry about getting a UTI from sex in the pacific ocean!! (note: keep your guy friends close because it is much safer to ride in cabs with at least a few boys.)
5. Drugs are everywhere.
The local pharmacy really was treated like a candy store – I learned that in Mexico, you can buy pretty much any prescription drug over the counter. People also could easily buy from dealers at the clubs. If you’re going somewhere similar to PV (a.k.a. Cabo), be careful. The reality is we have no idea what is really in those pills, aside from the fact that the coke is partially meth, the black pill will keep you up for days, the weed has muscle relaxants in it, and the comedowns are misery. Just be careful. I had the time of my life ~sin las drogas.~
6. Real life just stops for a week.
Within days I shifted from my organized routine of working out in the mornings, going to class, doing my homework, eating three full meals a day, and sleeping 7 hours a night to a whirlwind of drinking, napping, and tanning (or attempting). I rarely ever knew what time it was, didn’t exercise once, and only slept in the afternoons and early mornings. Alcohol was more accessible than water (not necessarily a good thing), I rarely wore shoes, my breakfasts consisted of rice and queso, and all contact with the outside world was limited because of the weak cell service. It was like being in a rule-free, worry free bubble for seven days. Kind of nice, but also unsettling for those who like to maintain a controlled, healthy routine. This was most definitely not that.
7. Worth it? Yes.
I never got to go on a crazy spring break trip with my high school friends, so this was my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I was nervous in the weeks leading up to the trip, unsure about the safety, the food, the drug culture, and the daunting idea of spending days in just a bikini. I set low expectations going in, so was truly stunned by how much fun I ended up having. While there are many aspects to all-inclusive spring break trips that are less-than-ideal, it really comes down to what you make of it. If you focus on the good moments, stay smart, and surround yourself with the people who make you feel safe and happy, you are setting yourself up for the week of a lifetime.