When you google the word “complicated,” the first link that pops up is none other than Avril Lavigne’s hit single on VEVO, Complicated. We may not have noticed how spot on the Canadian punk-rock chick was with her lyrics as we sang (or should I say whined) along during the morning commute to middle school, but she really nailed it with this one.
“Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?”
The problem we have today is not that life is so painfully complicated, it’s that we build up certain situations to be more intricate than necessary. Now we’re not saying, “it’s always rainbows and butterflies” (quoted by the real ‘Lavine’ that stole our heart) but complicated is tossed around almost as much as the L word. Interestingly enough, when complicated is used through out a college campus you can usually assume it either follows or precedes “love life.”
Even with the phrase “I can’t” tongue-tying (mostly) college girls after they’ve witnessed a hilarious action or seen an incredibly cute baby, “it’s complicated” still takes the cake for both genders as an overused expression.
“Why did you get Burrnett’s instead of Rubinoff this weekend?”
“It’s complicated.”
“So why aren’t you two friends anymore?”
“It’s complicated.”
And our personal favorite…
“What’s the deal with your ex?”
“It’s complicated.”
In some scenarios it seems as if “it’s complicated” is just slowly replacing “I don’t know” or “I’m too lazy to explain.” If dating someone for a few years in high school and college or even having one of those on-again off-again relationships for three years straight is complicated then I’m never having children.
Now, I don’t want to belittle the heartache and sometimes complexities that often occur within a relationship, no matter who or what age. However, whether it’s a current relationship or one of the past, take it for how it is. Things are only as complicated as you make them, especially at our age. Right now we are able walk away from certain things or people and have the option of never looking back.
Many times subjects that we express as complicated are really just situations that are still a bit delicate, or maybe overwhelming. Covering that up with a halfhearted phrase is only suppressing those feelings. It’s feeding our brain signals to now associate that person or situation with “complicated,” a word that many would agree has a negative connotation. Negativity in any context weighs you, your attitude and overall well-being of life down. Just using the word complicated creates a complicated situation.
Stop the vicious cycle. Breathe. Simplify.
Next time someone asks you about a subject and your first instinct is to reply with, “it’s complicated,” ask yourself, is it really that complicated? Sometime’s talking about the exact subject you were trying to avoid can act as a form of therapy itself and help you see the past or present more clearly. Don’t use complication as a crutch to avoid facing your own realities.
We will all come across complicated situations in our lives – that’s for sure. Let’s just try not to meet them before we have to.
Us college kids should lighten up on the “complications” of relationships and leave that word for the real tribulations of college such as calculus, IKEA furniture directions and trying to understand the family tree in Modern Family – now that’s complicated.