If you asked ten random people on campus what the first words that come to mind are when they think of high school, you will undoubtedly get ten completely different answers. The reality is, everyone has a completely different high school experience. For some of us, they were some of the best days of our lives, and for others, they were some of the absolute worst.
If that is the case for you: worry not, for the best days of your life are ahead of you. One of the most difficult adjustments I made in my first two years of college was figuring out a balance between new and old friends, and many of my college friends have gone through very similar transitions. High school friends watched you grow, still loved you regardless of your awkward phases, and hold a special place in your heart, but your college ones like you for you and allow you to become whoever you truly want to be.
I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to keep in touch with those from our past because we have shared so many moments with them and feel like they know us really well. But as the time grows longer between where you are now and the days you spent wandering stuffy halls, those friends may remain or maybe start to slip into acquaintances. Like they say, everything in hind-sight is 20-20. After reflecting on all of the great and terrible moments you shared with those you spent your days with, the question comes to mind of whether or not you would be friends with those people if you weren’t forced to see them every day. Thinking about changing relationships with those you love is completely exhausting, stressful, and can feel like the end of an era; it can be totally terrifying and leave you feeling alone. You don’t want to end something that worked well for so long, but if you end up feeling like it’s time to move on, it is okay to let go.
Once in college, you start becoming yourself without the restrictions of being surrounded by the same people you have known your whole life. No one knows you now, and you can make a new name for yourself. You now get to follow your own path and discover who you truly are. That person may be very different from who you were in high school, good or bad, and the same is happening to those from back home. You deserve to have the room to grow and become whoever you truly want to be. It’s okay to want that and to need space. When everyone is so busy, it’s a good time to assess who really is important. Just remember that all relationships are two-way streets, and others should reach out to you as much as you reach back.
Everyone has different college experiences, and with that, your values may be different than before and returning home to the local hang out may no longer appeal to you. You don’t need to conform or bend backwards to keep the company you once had. You can still remain friends, but ‘friend’ may now have a different connotation. Follow your own dreams and aspirations, and at the end of the day, those who want to stay in your life and truly enjoy your friendship will find a way to do so regardless of time or space.
This isn’t to say that you have and should get rid of every relationship that you have made in the first 18 years of your life. But at this point in our lives, quality becomes more important than quantity and it’s important to reassess those relationships and make room for some new ones that could last you a lifetime.