Dear Student,
College can be both a thrilling time and a terrifying one. Through the influence of the media and our personal expectations, we build up this grand idea of what college life is like. Yes, there is partying, and yes, you will have some awesome new friends—but more often than not you’re still the same person you were in high school (but a slightly cooler version and in a college setting).
All of these expectations, however, can cause distress when they don’t happen (what do you mean I’m still my same old self? Don’t I magically transform into someone better?). Of course you’re going to have fun new adventures, but there are also going to be plenty of days when you’re overwhelmed with schoolwork and many Friday nights when you’d rather stay in and watch a movie than hit a party. You’re going to feel lonely and afraid just as much as you’re going to feel well-adjusted and happy.
I have a fun fact for you all: that’s okay! You aren’t doing college “wrong,” you’re experiencing what it’s like to be you in a university setting.
You are the only one that gets to define your college experience. It’s okay if you don’t want to party all the time, and it’s okay if you do! You shouldn’t feel pressure to join a million clubs, go to the gym 24/7, take as many credits as you possibly can, or go to every party on campus. Not only will you overwhelm yourself trying to fit in, you won’t find your true place on campus if you’re stuck trying to live up to the “college” ideal. More than anything, this is a time in your life when you are supposed to find out what suits you—you’re discovering the adult you are about to become. All of the resources on campus are here to help you make this transition, but don’t worry if you don’t explore every opportunity.
Colleges are supposed to provide plenty of opportunities for their students, but they don’t expect you to do everything at once. Likewise, just because you see a friend’s Snapchat story of them at an awesome party, doesn’t mean you can’t just hangout in the dorm with a few close friends. This isn’t middle school: you’re an adult now, and you have the right to do what makes you happy. I know this might be difficult, but stressing over small things isn’t worth it. And in five years, when you’re in grad school or at an awesome job or volunteering abroad, you’ll be happy you took the time to know what makes you comfortable instead of trying to please everyone else.