Dear Me 11 years ago,
Boy, how time has flown. It seems like just yesterday I was playing on the playground in fifth grade, eating salad in science class because it taught us “mixtures,” and listening to 50 Cent’s “Get Rich Or Die Tryin’” album in our “free time” in Mr. Sylvia’s class. It’s crazy how different my concept of age was, and how I never even imagined being the age I am now.
Me, I know you thought that you’d have your sh*t together by now. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being as mature as you thought I’d be by now, as old and as wise, as famous or as successful. I definitely thought I’d be in Hollywood by now.
Let’s face it, when I was 10, I never even really thought about life as a 21 year-old. I thought 8th grade was old, never mind a senior in college. But, at my age now, I definitely thought things would be different. I thought I’d be a different person.
Well, self, I’m definitely different. I gained about a cup size (unfortunately), I grew about a foot and a half, and I pick out my own outfits now (for the most part). Still – life, society, and the world around me really hasn’t changed too much.
There’s still just as many mean girls as there were back then. They’re called b*tches now. They’re funny, and as you grow up you learn to ignore them, and they start to not bother you as much (kind of).
Now, instead of chasing boys on the playground, a lot of girls chase them figuratively, and the outcome isn’t as easy to fix. Instead of bruised knees there are broken hearts, and the same goes the other way around. You’ll learn though, that time heals all and everyone will feel better, it’s just a little more work than a bandaid and a kiss on the boo-boo. Tumblr is always a good place to start.
I don’t use the phone as much to talk to people, and I text people more than I actually see them. Things have come a long way since my Nokia brick phone that was really only used to play snake. Now I can video chat on my iPhone while e-mailing at the same time. It’s pretty cool, but snake actually may be more fun.
Even though the TV channel I watch the most is probably still Disney channel, you definitely had it better. Shows like That’s So Raven, Even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, Zoey 101, and Unfabulous aren’t around anymore, and the shows that are do not even come close in comparison. Sulk.
Sometimes I feel like I knew more about myself when I was 10 than I do now. A lot of times I wish I could go back and be the person I was back then. I envy you, my 10 year-old-self, for being completely ignorant to life, for being carefree and able to be extremely happy for the entire day just because Mom was making brownies, or because you had no homework tonight so you could do whatever you want. I envy you for knowing exactly what you wanted and not questioning anything, ever.
Now, self, there’s lots to worry about. Like where I’m going in life, how I’ll get there, what will happen in the mean time, am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing, who will be there with me? There’s also a lot of bad stuff in the world that I wish Mom still kept from me because as I get older it seems ignorance really, truly, is bliss. But I have to remind myself that there’s so much more good in the world, too.
Not to go all negative Nancy on you, 10 year-old self, but you had it pretty good back then. I’m sure, though, 10 years from now when I’m 31, I could say the same for my 21 year-old self. Growing up sucks, yes, but there’s no other way to live, and things could always be worse.
So, I’m sorry to disappoint you, 10 year-old self. Things aren’t quite what you planned for them to be. I’m not the president of the United States, I’m not an actress on the Disney Channel (which is probably a blessing cough Miley cough), and I’m not a business woman working at a magazine with glass doors and high heel clacking noises all around me, nor am I planning to be any of these things.
The most important lesson you will learn, 10 year-old self, is that nothing is ever what you plan for it to be. That’s okay, though, because that’s just the way it should be. What would life be if it was all planned and surprises didn’t exist? As you grow, you’ll also learn about quality over quantity and the excitement of not knowing exactly what is going to happen every day. Most importantly, you’ll learn that everything will eventually be okay.
Oh, one more thing: when in doubt, choose C (Dad will teach you that when you’re in high school).
Love,
You 11 Years Later
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