As the generation of millenniums, we’ve been raised in a world where everything around us seems to be changing constantly and we’ve grown into and embraced this era, adding our own spin on how our parents used to do it at their age. The way we communicate with one another has drastically changed and, no doubt along with it, so have our relationships. Instead of intimate relationships being limited to “dating” (boyfriend and girlfriend) or “not dating,” our generation has coined terms as “talking,” “exclusive,” “together,” and “hanging-out” as labels describing our relationship with our significant others. With so many ways to describe a relationship, it becomes that more complicated to figure out what category you and your partner may fall under, and sometimes us ladies need some answers! So how do you label your college hook-up?
First thing you should look at is time. First, how long have you been together? Hook-ups aren’t meant to last forever. They can start in just a moment of attraction that ends up going farther but longevity isn’t always guaranteed in a relationship that’s not necessarily based on emotions, but more the physical aspects. When you’ve been hooking up with someone for a decent amount of time and your feelings start to grow, then would be a good time to talk about labeling the relationship. Otherwise, over the course of time, you might realize that you’re no longer interested in the person and you’re ready to move on to something or someone new. Sometimes your emotions in the early stages of a hook-up are impulsive. You’re running on adrenaline and the excitement of something new and you might mistake lust for real feelings. You wouldn’t want to make a stable commitment with someone unless you knew real feelings are there, so just wait and see how you feel and then address your label.
Second, how much time do you two spend together? Do you spend time one on one during the week? Or do you mostly see each other after midnight on the weekends after a party? Do you text every day? Or only for late night booty calls? The amount of free time your partner spends with you is a good indicator of the feelings they might have. If you find that your hook-up may be hooking up with other girls or you only see them on weekend nights, then it can be assumed that your relationship is strictly a hook-up and you shouldn’t expect anything more of the person. On the other hand, if you and your special someone are getting dinner in the DCs together or they come and hang out with you and your friends, it could very likely be a sign that perhaps they’re interested in something more serious and exclusive that has a stable label. Taking all these factors into account will no doubt give you clarity to your relationship.
If you still feel unclear about where you stand with your hook-up, the only way to accurately label your relationship would be to talk to them. If you’re one of those girls who needs to know where you stand clearly and directly, the only thing you can do is confront your hook-up about the situation! You both may already have had conversations about your feelings about each other, but that conversation doesn’t lead to a definite label. That’s okay, sometimes even just establishing feelings can be a temporary label within itself, but just talking about feelings doesn’t always suffice for a label that you are able to explain to your friends, classmates, and awkward creepers trying to get your number at a party. Some girls assume that if they confront their hook-up, it will send them running in the opposite direction. Though it’s possible, if you’re unhappy with not knowing where you stand, you shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself! Say what you need to say and open the possibility of more onto the table.
The WORST thing you can do is assume that you know how your partner feels or that the two of you are on the same page. Like I said earlier, our generation is all about change and just like classes, friends, and posters on dorm room walls, feelings are always changing. It’s possible that your feeling for someone and their feelings for you can change overnight. Also, how we perceive things have the tendency to be completely individual. Just because you see a situation one way doesn’t mean your hook-up does too. You could desire something more from your hook-ups while they’re just trying to get off and peace out. Always stay on your feet and be flexible since almost everything in college is subject to change.
Bottom Line: Labeling your hook-up is important for peace of mind; however the most important part of your hook-ups or any relationship is to be honest with your feelings. Don’t keep hooking up with a kid who isn’t interested in anything more than physical intimacy just because you have strong feeling for them and don’t want to lose them, and vice versa. Hook-ups are tricky and people often get hurt, it’s best to just be honest with yourself and what you want and communicate that with your partner. Also, be confident. Sometimes hook-ups just end or don’t work out and you don’t get much of an explanation as to why. Keep calm and be confident and don’t let it hurt you too much, there are hundreds of boys at this school, take advantage of every one!