From a young age, most of us have grown up dreaming of the future. We go from our childhood dreams of one day becoming a ballerina or a princess, to our more logical dreams of suiting up and living in some big city or a nurse in a quaint suburb. As our high school years came to a close, the majority of us decided that after high school we will be going to college and started to think about what major will best suit us, and maybe even the dreaded thought of “What profession do we want to pursue for the rest of our lives?” This thought at the ages of 16-18 is terrifying, to say the least.
However, some of us Collegiettes are lucky enough to make a plan, travel that plan, work hard, succeed, and even maintain a smile all while doing so. However, there are times in life when we have a plan and it goes tragically unplanned. We were ready for the fast ball and the curve ball was thrown. We were expecting a sunny day when it suddenly starts to torrential downpour. You find yourself lost and/or unhappy on a path you thought you had figured out. Any of these metaphors sound familiar? Don’t worry; in NO WAY are you alone. The big question that comes in this situation is, “What in the world do we do next?”
Step number 1:“If you are unhappy, fix it. If you cannot fix it, accept it.” Sound familiar? Well, this is my first piece of advice. If you find a constant source of unhappiness in your life, find a way to remove it. This can apply to a friendship that has changed and is no longer good for you, a change of heart about your plans for the profession you once thought you wanted to pursue, or it could even just be a bad habit.
One of the biggest misconceptions that come with “quitting” one path is that sometimes it is easy to convince ourselves that we have failed. I am here to tell you that is not the case. More times than not, if we decide to make a change in our lives, it is because we decided that our happiness was being tampered with, or maybe we simply changed our minds. This in no way makes you a failure. In my personal opinion, it makes you very strong. It takes strength to accept what is good for you and change what is not.
Step number 2:If the source of unhappiness is out of your control, the best thing for yourself is to accept the situation as it is. Now, I know that is probably about one thousand times easier said than done, but with time, it is possible. I have found that situations with a second party involved easily come out of your control. This could be a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, parent, etc. Relationships in all forms are sticky when they hit turbulence.
Unfortunately, sometimes even long lasting friendships come to an end. The termination of relationships happen for many reasons, but one reason I find particularly difficult to accept is simply that the two people have changed. It doesn’t make either of you bad people; it is just the way life works. Although two people may have history, what is important to remember is that with time comes change. If those changes unfortunately cause two people to become distant or maybe disagree to the point where there is more unhappiness than joy, it is time to let go.
I’ve grown up knowing that it is important to dream and have a solid plan. Rigidity is no doubt important; it helps keep you driven, motivated, and focused, which helps lead you to success in whatever it is that you dream for yourself. However, it is equally important to be flexible in this journey we call life. Despite all we’ve planned, life is almost guaranteed to throw some chaos at you somewhere along the way. If the big dream doesn’t add up to all you thought it would be, it is okay to explore and go somewhere else. If you thought that something that would last forever suddenly ends, give yourself time to be upset over it.
However, don’t lose sight of why it ended (it was probably for the best) and most importantly who you are and what you believe in. Second most important reminder is to smile. Sometimes being flexible and leaving room for the unknown can actually be much more exciting than you would expect. Who doesn’t like a little element of surprise?