We’ve all been there: you’re interested in a new guy and you’re not completely sure where his head’s at. Instead of letting your life turn into a romantic drama, take hold of the reins and steer this flirtationship where you’d like to see it go. Here’s seven ways to play the game better than he does, as told by our favorite independent diva, Beyonce.
1) Be confident.
Boys prey on vulnerability. Know who you are and own it. Once you learn to love yourself, you know what you expect from others. Never, ever let a dude make you think less of yourself. You’re worth the effort, and he should know that. So, put the effort into yourself – your looks, your attitude, and your passions. Your aura says a lot about you, so make sure that you give off a good one. Jay Z shouts out Bey in his song “Picasso Baby,” rapping “Sleeping every night next to Mona Lisa, The modern day version with better features.” You don’t think Beyonce got her man to worship her like this by not loving herself, do you?
2) Never let him see you cry.
Let me be clear: I’m not telling you not to cry. Cry as much as you want, and as much as you feel is necessary. But, don’t ever let him see, and don’t ever let him know. You are stronger than that, and I guarantee you no guy is worth your tears. If he’s making you cry more than he’s making you smile (among other things, if you catch our drift), he’s a fool and you can do better.
3) Don’t let him walk all over you.
Nothing confuses a boy more than a girl who just says how she feels. We’re supposed to be the confusing ones, remember? Please be vocal about what you like, and what you dislike. Whether it’s in bed, in his mannerisms, or how he treats you, don’t let yourself be there to only satisfy his needs. This makes you a doormat, and if you show that you’re okay with that, he’ll continue to step all over you. Make him reluctant to cross you in any way. Also, don’t be afraid to tell him when he’s doing something right. Men enjoy having their ego stroked, and if you do it sparingly enough, he’ll continue to try to please you.
4) Never let him think he’s got you figured out.
A little mystery never hurt nobody. Keep him wondering about you. From my experience, being too much of an open book allows people to take advantage of you. You want to be in the driver’s seat, girlfriend – this is your trip, and you run this sh*t. Just because men stereotypically wear the “pants” in the relationship doesn’t mean you have to let him control you. Wrap him around your finger, and keep him intrigued.
5) Lean on your friends.
When dealing with a complicated boy, you’re going to need a strong support system. In come your friends. They should know what to say to make you feel better. That’s why you’re friends with them. And if it gets to a point where words can’t help, there’s always dancing and wine.
6) Don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
Let him know you’re not gonna make him chase you, and you’re certainly not gonna chase him. You should have zero time for guys who enjoy the chase more than you as person. If he does something you told him you don’t have any patience for, cut him loose. While a boy messing up can sometimes hurt you in ways you didn’t think it would, more often than not, it’s a blessing in disguise.
8) Always remember, you have options.
There’s always another guy out there, and the one you’re tripping over can be replaced in a second. Try talking to the guy you’ve been watching lift at the gym. Accept a coffee date with a boy that’s totally not your type, but seems nice enough. Try to stay away from types of dudes that have hurt you in the past. But, rebound hookups are fun, and you should embrace them.
Good luck, Collegiettes. Please, always love yourself.