Bay Staters, Massachusettsans, Massachusites – we’re a unique breed. We have an “accent” even though we’re America’s OGs and our professional sport teams’ mascots are either magical, made-up creatures or just straight up frightening. We also have a reputation for being, well, wicked temperamental.
Like I said, there’s no one else like us. And if you’re one of us, this list will merely be the Hahvahd to ya yahd (pffft), the Fenway to your frank.
1. You blush when someone calls you a Masshole. That’s quite the compliment, if you ask me.
2. Road rage is part of being a driver. It’s a privilege.
3. Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Yeah, we know it’s no Starbucks but we run on Dunkin’, gosh darnit.
4. Dunkin’ Donuts food. God, it’s terrible, but we still eat it.
5. The absurdly and mysteriously low prices at every Market Basket Supermarket (all of which are located only in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine, and are all in serious need of remodeling).
6. Vandalizing anything with a New York sports team logo.
7. When southern people visit and try to ask strangers for help.
8. When southern people talk.
9. When a guy from Southie with a ridiculous Boston accent and polyester Red Sox jersey is interviewed on the news. And you know he’s holdin’ Dunkin’.
10. When any professional New York sports team loses.
11. Did I say Masshole already?
12. Anything made by Necco (whose headquarters is located in Revere, by the way. You should know this.).
13. When non-New Englanders despise the weather here. Of course, the weather’s dreadful when we complain about it, but when outsiders do it? No way. Deal with it.
14. Watching people from Jersey pump gas for the first time.
15. When people can’t move their car because there’s so much snow.
16. A packy.
17. People trying to pronounce names like Worcester, Peabody and Haverhill.
18. Our family history, which all have some trace of Irish or Italian.
19. Asking about directions with your extremely large family, which becomes a frenzy of shouted street names in all of the Greater Boston area.
20. When anyone tries to argue that their city is better than Boston.