Everyone knows that fall semester is way more fun than spring. It’s colder now, there’s no more tailgating or football games or rushing or Halloween or fall festivities. Christmas is over and summer is way too many months away to be excited for it. Yes, starting classes is always difficult. But, spring semester means you don’t have as many fun things to look forward to after class and on the weekends like you did in the fall. I know every college student has experienced at least one of these feelings during syllabus week. And luckily there’s a Taylor Swift song title that explains our roller coaster of emotions so accurately! But nonetheless, we all gotta get through it somehow. And I have a feeling we’ll be just fine.
Mean
“The final is cumulative.” And all you are is mean. Why you gotta be so mean?
Sparks Fly
When they say there is no final. And you wonder if it’s really real, so you have to ask just to make sure what just came out of their mouth wasn’t a cruel mistake. I see sparks fly professor. And from every individual in this room in fact.
I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In
When the professor walks in and immediately sets up the PowerPoint to say “Chapter 1.” So shame on me now for giving your unpleasant countenance the benefit of the doubt. What happened to syllabus week? Syllabus first class at least?
Bad Blood
We all know those kids who eat the loudest chips known to man in the front row and are agonizingly distracting to everybody else in the lecture. And as hard as we try not to be “that guy,” please don’t make it an official rule that I have to starve for an hour and a half. That just makes me hungrier knowing that I can’t! And also really mad at you already. And what if it’s something quiet like fruit or a bar? Now we’ve got problems, and I really don’t think we’re gonna be able to solve them.
Should’ve Said No
Taking an elective your friend suggested only to walk into the classroom with classical music playing way too loud for an 8am on a Monday. Yesterday I found out about you, and even now just looking at you, feels so very wrong.
Tell Me Why
When attendance is mandatory but also, all the slides will be posted to blackboard. Now tell me, does that even make sense? You could write a book on how to ruin someone’s perfect day, so please tell me why you are this way?!
Breathe
Hearing them say “oh and your first assignment is posted on blackboard and will be due next class!” Right before you walk out the door. Please, don’t make this required class any more painful than it has to be. “Music starts playin’ like the end of a sad movie,
It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see.”
Back to December
Wondering why you ever complained about fall semester because it was actually 100x easier than what your life will be like for the next 4 months. But wait…don’t you say that every spring? I go back to December all the time too Taylor. And then hate my life then too. Because it’s only the first week and now im drowning in papers and projects and readings.
Call it What You Want
And then at at least one time or another, we’ve had to listen to a professor rant on and on about how many hours you should be putting into their class instead of the other 45 important things you should be doing right at this very moment. And then them telling you if you’re not going to come to class and put in a full effort then you might as well leave because you’re basically setting yourself up for failure. Jeez just kick me out why don’t ya?! Is it just me who’s had these intimidating professors on the first day? Call it what you want ma’am but I still pass all my classes every semester. But thank you, for stressing me out more.
Shake It Off
And finally, when you’ve survived your first week with more anxiety and stress than you thought was imaginable, but realize you might be overreacting just a tad because it is only just the first week of the semester. And there’s a lot of time left to go. Shake it off everyone. We will get through this, we can get through this, and we have to get through this!
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