This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Maine chapter.
1. “I’m hungover so I’ll eat whatever I want”
Your pounding headache is actually your body’s screaming request for greasy food. You must comply.
2. “OMG let’s get brunch!”
Congratulations! You and at least two other people you know have your lives together enough to be showered and presentable for the public eye at a reasonable time.
3. “I didn’t go out last night so I can also eat whatever I want.”
You didn’t waste all of your calorie intake on alcohol and pizza last night, so the only logical course of action is to use all of the calories you have banked on junk food today… Because that’s totally how calories work, right?
4. “I ate an entire bacon chicken ranch pizza last night and now I’m reevaluating my entire life.”
You ate $20 worth of pizza by yourself last night. You snapped at your roommate when she asked for a slice. Now, you’re punishing yourself with a week of healthy eating. (It’s only going to last until Wednesday, probs.)
5. “Let’s watch professional athletes play sports while we stuff our faces.”
BUFFALO CHICKEN FLAVORED ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.