What immediately comes to your mind when you see the word “networking”?
For me, it’s awkward, sweaty handshakes, uncomfortable shoes and babbling about how I did something one time that might be professional or valuable for a company (probably in those vague words, honestly).
I was forced to attend a networking event as part of a class. It was a solid 45 minutes of collecting a few university email addresses and discussing between a few students the mutual dissapointment we had for the event and how hungry we all were. If the same people I talked to during those 45 minutes came up to me tomorrow, I wouldn’t recognize them or know their names. I asked their majors and hometowns, and they blended right into professional oblivion. I learned no special details. No interesting, unique qualities stood out about the students I interacted with.
Following that lackluster experience, I attended a class callled The Green Room that each day, provided us with the opportunity to network. No one called it networking, though. It was simply a chance for everyone to get up, move around and talk to whoever was there. But it wasn’t a handshake and an awkward exchange. It was a genuine conversation. I remember it. I exchanged my business card with a local creative education researcher interested in my honors project. I created a professional relationship that might actually help me in my future career.
The ugly truth about networking is that when forced, we are not our best selves. Dedicated networking events sometimes put us in stuffy business clothes that we constantly tug at. We present our skills in form of bulleted lists. We do not stray from the resume in our hands when making the first crucial introduction with a potential employer or mentor.
Don’t get me wrong, telling someone about your internship here or apprenticeship there isn’t bad. You should be proud of those accomplishments. But often, networking events don’t give the time or space for you to properly convey why you passionately engaged in experiences outside the walls of a classroom and in the real world. They are limited to a few minutes of time that is supposed to be filled with a name, handshake and elevator pitch. (speed networking, here’s looking at you)
What I’ve found when networking is that the best way to build a professional contact is to appeal to them personally. Find common ground, a mutual interest or a passionate conversation spark. Make it casual, comical and real. Don’t stroke your ego and certainly don’t stroke theirs. Have a meaningful conversation. Think of a question that could be asked to anyone that illicits a unique conversation like the following:
Where do you find magic in what you are currently doing?
What about your career keeps you up at night?
What dreams, outside of your career, do you have? Are they somehow related to your career?
How did you get to where you are? (This one is my favorite because it’s usually something people love talking about!)
Being yourself when talking to others will take you places you never knew you could go. Stay passionate and confident. That’s how you can make an ugly networking event prettier.