One of my biggest pet peeves today in our society is when people say that our culture, especially our lucky western culture, is finally done with inequality and that there is no sexism or oppression in sight for women. There is a myth that women are told we should just be grateful we are not in the severe situations of other third world countries where woman face true danger and that the true hard days are over.
This is not to say that the very real danger that other women face in various demographics and cultures isn’t real or shouldn’t be addressed, but I think we as a human race would be naïve to really believe we live in a world where everything is truly equal between men and woman in any given region of the world. I think as a western culture it would be awful to not mention how lucky we are and how far we have come as a culture to treat women better than history reflects, but that doesn’t mean we are at all close to done. There is no one more aware of how far we still have to go with feminism than the women who experience the still lingering oppressive day to day conflicts that we have to face. Sometimes it’s obvious, but other times it’s so integrated into our culture many of us don’t even pay attention enough to evoke a response or rise out of us. Which is why people have these understandably ignorant and naïve thoughts and comments they carry and believe.
One of my biggest arguments for the subtle sexism, which helps to support the fact woman are still not seen as equal to men, even in modern developed countries, is the way men handle being associated with feminine traits. It is seen as an insult when someone says, “You throw like a girl.” And if a man uses woman’s shampoo for instance, he would be shamed by his buddies even if he just liked the sent and was still heterosexual. If a man isn’t traditionally masculine or carries any features or habits considered feminine in ANY way, all of the sudden he is a social outcast. It is woven into our ideas about gender and human beings and for many of us it was never an intentional belief to have. Yet we still have these ideas, and it needs to end.
Women everywhere, I want you to listen up. You need to stop apologizing for being a woman. Stop saying sorry for every mistake you think you’ve made. Say thank you if someone says, “You throw like a girl,” change the narrative, and maybe the rest of the world will follow suit. We as a gender have come so far, but we deserve true equality to the fullest extent. We don’t need to settle, we’ve been settling for centuries. Both men and woman should be treated equally. If a boy wants to wear scarves, he shouldn’t be laughed at; what’s funny about being warm? What is wrong with being associated with being a woman or having feminine qualities? It is not weak and I think we need to change this assumption.
When I think of a woman, I think of resilience, not only because of the history and oppression we have faced, but just by how we carry ourselves each day. Women often work full time jobs, have kids and take care of all the household jobs and find time to be a good friend, daughter and wife. Women are strong. We birth human beings and without women, the world’s whole race could not exist. Women deal with the biological annoyances that come each month where we literally shed from the inside, and I won’t apologize for being graphic because it is exactly what happens.
Women are often said to be too emotional and overly sensitive. I say that makes us strong, you know how hard it is to face your feelings? To face the very things that scare you? Women’s ability to express themselves emotionally help them to relate to other people and live less stressed out lives. I wish men and woman were equal, so men could experience a world the way women do when facing their emotions head on and just to feel the freedom of a good cry once in a while. Men deserve to be humans and have emotions too. Women are smart; we are actually statically more likely to graduate college and pursue other higher forms of education.
I could go on forever, but I think this is an issue that really does need addressing. And it starts with each of us. Girls, you’re perfect just the way you are, don’t apologize anymore for existing.