We can all agree that the University of Iowa is truly heaven on earth, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our sinners. The following seven deadly sins are the vices of University of Iowa students. It’s time for an examination of conscience, Hawkeyes. Which of these seven deadly sins do you commit too often?
1. Lust: Hooking up with an Iowa State student.
Haven’t you heard of “Romeo and Juliet?” “West Side Story,” maybe? There is no way a CyHawk couple could ever work. Yeah, sure, love always wins, and we shouldn’t deny our feelings just based on name, yadda yadda, but stay loyal, Hawks.
2. Gluttony: Getting Panch at 2 a.m. every night of the weekend.
I know, queso is quite the temptation after a long night out in DT IC. But you must resist! Buying a burrito as big as your head three nights a week is begging for the freshman fifteen (or sophomore fifteen, junior fifteen, third-year-super-senior fifteen, whatever your situation).
3. Greed: Going to student org meetings for whatever free food is promised without the intention of actually getting involved.
The students involved with student orgs on Iowa’s campus are amazing, hard-working and motivated young people. You, however, are just greedy, hungry and poor.
4. Sloth: Taking the bus up the Pentacrest hill.
Inclines are hard :/ Whoever said the Midwest was all flat has not hiked from the IMU to Macbride.
5. Wrath: Going on a rampage when Eduroam isn’t working.
We get it: you can’t watch Netflix or, like, submit that final term paper worth 30 percent of your grade or whatever. Try not to gather an angry mob with pitchforks and torches to march on the ITS offices, though.
6. Envy: Being jealous of the girl dressed to the nines for an 8:30.
How did she get her makeup so perfect? Are you telling me she actually woke up with her alarm instead of somehow sleepwalking from the dorms to Van Allen wearing mismatched workout gear? Are those real denim jeans? At this hour?
7. Pride: Wearing too much Hawkeye gear everywhere you go.
Actually, we’re not sorry about this one. Rep the Hawkeyes always.