Dear 15-year-old me,
High school is hard, and yet, you try so, so hard at everything you do. And that’s not a bad thing, of course, but sometimes you try hard at the wrong things. You don’t have to straighten your bangs every morning or master winged eyeliner or cake all that foundation on your face (your face is going to break out) or always wear skirts to school. You don’t have to cut your hair short in order to stand out (you’re going to hate it anyways, and eventually grow it all out again). You don’t have to constantly agree with everyone, especially when, on the inside, you knew they were wrong. You don’t have to suppress parts of yourself just because of your friends or because of a boy (here’s a shocker—a lot of them don’t matter now!).
If I could only tell you one thing in this whole letter, it’s not to worry about boys. You give your all in relationships, and sometimes, you pull all the weight. Save that passion for someone else, and you’ll be a lot happier. Relationships are a two-way street—if you’re giving them everything, and they’re not returning it, move on. The same advice goes for your friendships, too.
Learn to stand up for yourself. You’re quiet and kind and don’t want to rock the boat or make anybody mad, but sometimes, that just has to happen. Not everybody is going to like you, and there’s nothing you can do about it, no matter how hard you try. Your opinions are just as important as everyone else’s, so don’t be afraid to speak out in arguments or in class or even about something that’s bothering you.
Of course, you didn’t do everything wrong. A lot of your hard work paid off. You tried your hardest in school, taking AP and honors classes, getting so involved that you spent at least 12 hours at school every day. But take some time for yourself. Read a book that you want to read, not because it’s required for school. Go on a little shopping spree because yes, you do deserve those new leggings. You are allowed to have some fun in high school; all of your energy does not have to be focused on college and your future (stop being existential, you’re 15).
Keep that hardworking attitude, though, because that’s what got you where you are today. All those AP classes will be worth it in the long run, even if those late-night homework sessions feel like they’re slowly killing you. All the musical and play rehearsals, the tutoring sessions, and the honors society meetings will give you the greatest friends you could ever imagine.
I know it sucked when we had to move an hour away from our friends and transfer into an entirely new high school. You’re going to hate mom for a long time, but in the long run, you’re going to sob the majority of senior year because you truly loved your second high school.
Your future is brighter than you know. You’re going to go to a great school, study what you’re passionate about and finally start to love yourself. You have awesome internships and write for amazing websites. College is everything you thought it would be and more. You can truly say you’re happy now and know it’s only going to get better.
So, yeah, I guess you could say “2017 you” is doing just fine, so stop worrying about the future and enjoy high school before it ends.
Love,
20-year-old you
Photos are the author’s own with thanks to Mother McAuley High School